When I’m in a heated argument with someone close to me, I want to isolate from them and can be perceived as giving the silent treatment or being short. But on the inside, I go through sad thoughts such as feeling like my presence is a burden, that I’m an annoyance, and dont want to bother you again by reminding you of my presence, and would rather leave you alone😢.

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Don’t do that in future

likesmart

This is so interesting because I am the complete opposite. I want to get it all out and over, nothing to linger. In fact I have had to work through my own fear of abandonment when someone needs space. In my mind 'how can someone who I care about and who cares about me, see me in pain or be in pain and walk away?'

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But does anyone who takes more than a week of “space” actually care? Came to that realization. They don’t, it’s out of selfishness. Totally agree on solving it right then and there. The longer it goes, more resentment and distance grows.

That’s understandable but could be difficult for the other person if you’re not communicating what your internal process is. No one can read your mind, so you do need to find a way to talk through the feelings you have.

And taking time is okay, as long as you say something before and promise to discuss another time, like, I hear you and want to keep talking about this but need to take some time right now to process.

likehelpful

I don’t think there’s a problem taking the time to gather your thoughts and feelings away from someone who has made you upset. It is important to resolve these kinds of arguments though so we shouldn’t stay quiet or hold a grudge too long.

The behavior you’ve described sounds more like a self esteem issue and I hope you are able to work on this to know that you are not (always) the problem. Sometimes we are the problem, but even then we can be kinder to ourselves. Calm yourself down and continue the conversation in a less heated manner.

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