AA Fam: I’ve only been in AA a little over a year now. I am always amazed / “taken aback” when I see old timers, people with 10/20/30 years sobriety, who are judgmental about someone or something or the other. I know some awaken and some don’t, but you’d think that going through the steps helps take out judgement, no?

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We are not saints. We we are people too. It just goes to show that you need to continuously work at this program. 6/7 don’t take away our character defects they reveal them to us so we can work on them

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A lot of these guys have seen a lot of guys die. What might come off as judgmental (e.g. old timers who preach AA singleness of purpose) is a deadly seriousness.

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In those cases I feel like they have forgotten about when they started. When you have all those years under your belt, amazing as it is, can be a lot easier to forget how it was before. That being said though, I’ve seen a ton of old timers that are awesome and not judgey at all.

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Just as how our addiction and disease effects us has differences, so too does the quality of ones sobriety. While we all share certain traits and characteristics, we are all humans, and as such our lives all live on a wide spectrum of possibilities. I don't believe in judgement of others as I know that it is a selfish head space to occupy, but I can make choices about who I choose to form deeper relationships with in the program vs. those I don't choose to. And that's all okay

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Agree with everyone above. I have definitely seen this happen and I think sometimes people really do just forget where they started and how far they have come. I try to just let it go and not let it bother me because those kinds of people rarely change

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I’ve been on and off the wagon for 3 years. Easy? No. Judge me? Fine. I’m the only one who will be here for me when I slip into oblivion.

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I have to remind myself that:
A) Sobriety is one day at a time.
B) We’re all human
C) I’m never “cured”, and even if I don’t take a drink, my emotional sobriety is also one day at a time.

helpful

Thank you, D2. It took me a bit to look behind the words. Very insightful, thanks again. 🙏

Thank you so much, all! All points well taken and fully agree. I awakened early, a few days after my first meeting, and have struggled with the predicament of living in the “conscious self” vs. the “ego self” this last year. I have finally recently accepted that we must live in both places simultaneously. We continue to be humans while yearning for God. Progress over perfection. 🙏

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