My SO is an alcohol abuser but has said he knows it’s a problem and would like to cut back or quit. Any suggestions or advice in how to help and cope with this. He becomes a different person when he drinks. I want to support him but don’t know how or where to start.

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Find a local AA group with an Open meeting, see if he wants to get better by spending 60 mins in a chair. You can go with him to an Open meeting, or not. You can be supportive, but he’s going to have to do the work.

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It works if he works it, but as MD says he has to be the one who does it.
My SO is a great support for me by listening when I want to talk, not prying when it’s clear I don’t, and from time to time asking good but not accusatory questions. She’s really a model partner for an addict.

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Its really important you stress the negative consequences that come from his drinking. It took me awhile to understand that even though I didn't think there were consequences - they were there and I didn't care. Ultimately my SO had to point out all the times I chose alcohol over them and that it was starting to really add up that I cared more about getting drunk than being in a relationship. That + finally hitting rock bottom gave me the courage I needed to get help.

Additionally - really listen to the excuses and lies they will tell you. I think hearing "that's a lie or that's just an excuse" over and over helped it sink in that I had a problem.

Everything in life is temporary: jobs, houses, relationships, stability, if you choose it to be. I didn't want the only constant to be booze in my life when everything else would be slowly taken away from me becuase of the choices I was making.

He needs to hear (from other addicts and professionals) that he will gain so much more from quitting then from continuing to use. Good luck and keep fighting for him - I'm so fucking lucky my spouse didn't give up on me - I'll be forever grateful ♥️

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Yeah, this too. I denied I was an addict for so long. I disagreed with my wife’s POV that it was hurting her.
To placate her I promised to stop. I couldn’t. I never really had to hit rock bottom, it was made clear to me that I was an addict when I sincerely tried to quit but failed. I was shocked by that, I thought I had legendary will power. That realization helped me get help without destroying my life.
In hindsight, portions of my life really were un-manageable, I didn’t appreciate how much until being sober. Seeing my life genuinely improve in sobriety in ways I didn’t realize it was hurting beforehand confirmed for me I was an addict and recovery was worth the work and effort.

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I went to my first AA meeting 2 weeks ago and it is fantastic. Honestly, everyone should do it. My understanding so far is, getting group and working the 12 steps is the only consistently effective approach. I was not a crazy hard drinker but it became a problem and I realized my life was not manageable. I was nervous to go because of the stigma. Now I would never look back. It is incredible. Good luck!

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Have him listen to the audiobook Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck

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