Am I being naive thinking I’ll just find my wife naturally one day by chance (more like qadr as opposed to actively seeking marriage)? Can anyone here share stories on how they found their spouse? I just turned 22 and I’m starting to feel this sense of hopelessness. I’ve made zero effort for getting married, but I also have a fear of word spreading about me looking and having people see me as desperate, especially for being as young as I am.

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You 100% need to make effort. It takes a lot longer than you think to find a good partner. Your pool is also a lot larger when you’re young than when you’re older so start NOW. Don’t make the mistake most young folks are making by delaying. Maybe float the word around in a casual way that you’re open to getting married. It doesn’t look desperate

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Yes. You don’t need to chase marriage perhaps, but you do need to chase getting to meet people and learn about them and building relationships.

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You are McKinsey, it will find you

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Qadr is commonly mistaken for inaction. Allah has written our destiny with full knowledge of the effort we will put in.

Majid events are a great starting point but others may have more direct experience to share here.

Dude, you probably shouldn’t be worry for another ten years or so. You’re 22…relax and enjoy life. Don’t be in such a rush to grow up really fast. You can casually look and still enjoy your life.

I’m in my 30s now and married high school best friend who became my college sweetheart. Love her to death but still regret getting engaged at 22/23 and married at 24. The more you tie yourself down in your twenty’s the less you have time to take opportunities with career and education. Go live in a different city, get a masters degree if you want to learn a new disciple, become a full time mba student - it’s so damn fun, hang out with your friends every night til midnight, go on random vacations for extended periods of time, heck join the military lol…whatever it is man, now is the time to take risks.

I’ve wanted to do every one of those things but was only able to complete one because of competing priorities with wife’s job, as well in law requirements (married to an only child).

World is your oyster my man, you’re so young. Enjoy your youth and please don’t be in a rush

Sincerely,
An Older Dude

Go to Muslim matrimonial events go to any one in a major city, network at hundreds of mosques it shouldn’t be too hard to find someone that aligned with your values would enhance your relationships would enhance your ability to potentially even make more so go out there and take a leap of faith

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