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Set boundaries! Block off your calendar! Don’t let them take your time away and also decrease your pay lol couze that’s what you do working over time so much on a salary. If they don’t like it let them do something about it. Do the job you were hired to do in the business hours listed on their site and nothing more.
You are not going to get those years back with your baby. And franckly I think this job isn’t going to stick anyway for years and years. So don’t let them take this time from you if you won’t even remember them in few years.
I work from home now. I worked in the office 4 years before the pendemic then after they asked who wants to come back and I said I’m to far since I moved to another city. The timing was good because I just gave birth. I had time off for 4 month.
My baby is my priority right now, he’s 1.5 now. His grandma watches him twice a week and the other 3 I have him. It’s been a bit crazy but my job allows me to plan in advance and finish things in advance or in the evening so I do as much as possible those 2 days, find a sitter if I know I have a presentation, and hire help to do stuff like cleaning. It’s been difficult but no one is going to take this time away from me. I don’t care if dishes are piling up and house is a mess, I also don’t care how anyone is feeling at work about me blocking off 5:30-8. If they take time away from my baby I take time away from them and take my toddler to the park in the middle of a work day while they blah blah in a meeting.
So far no one complained. I do my job and I do it well and I do it 8h a day and that’s it! If some days are 10, I do 6 off on another and give that time to my baby.
I know I’m not a “goes above and beyond” right now, I was like that before my child. Now I do my best to do that for my child not some corporate company. There will be time when my baby is older 3-4 when I can finally give more attention to my job. Right now is not that time and I accept it.
US maternity leave is shit! So don’t let them screw you even more with unrealistic timelines and working you like a horse. It’s just a job.
I think it’s important to find/know a way out and have a backup plan because you’re basically giving them all the power and leverage to treat you this way.
I have 2 back up plans and an emergency saving just in case.
I’m sorry you’re going through this now. Went through the same thing a few years ago. I resigned a few years before the pandemic to spend more time with my kid, and have been freelancing ever since.
I went back to work at three months for both kids. It was hard at first, but made it work. I wanted to be able to contribute to the HH, but I am also not a stay at home type. However, looking back, that little baby/toddler phase goes by so quickly and I really miss it and feel like it is a bit of a blur. I might have done things differently if I could go back to spend more time with them. The one good thing about Covid is I was able to be with my kids more. They are more independent now, even at 9 and 11. I don’t know that there is a good answer, you have to figure out what works for you, but you never get that time back. Good luck!
Glad it was helpful!
Those late nights and weekends sometimes get particularly difficult when I work on things that I don’t find very meaningful and interesting.
Have my parental leave coming up in a few months, so I haven’t started looking for new role.
Would finding new roles and going through the lengthy interview process the only way out here? Curious to hear how parents with similar challenges cope with it.