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(Cont’d). I’ve always assumed guests should bring a gift to any hosted event. Even a dinner party invitation warrants the guest bringing a nice bottle of wine, flowers, or a sweet treat. So for a wedding, bringing a gift should be a normal part of being a guest. A registry is making it easy and removing any admin for the guest. But it seems people now think this is tacky? Do people really expect not to send a gift with wedding attendance now? Or are we really collectively pretending like a wedding is not a gift-giving occasion so guests can be “sly” with their generosity?
Rising Star
i don’t think it’s tacky at all . i always use registries to send shower gifts or engagement gifts. i think a registry is better than returning everything you receive because none of it is your taste
I was told by multiple people that it’s actually considered a courtesy to your guests. That way, your guests aren’t left wondering if what they spent money on will actually be used or just collecting dust somewhere
That’s how I think about it!
Rising Star
People expect to see a registry. Some older couples who really want nothing will request donations to a charity or one if your choice.
A registry doesn't say you must gift, it just gives you an easy way to gift something you know they want. Just have a wide variety of price points.
Rising Star
Never listen to virtue signalers.they will suck all the fun out of your life if you let them.
I am currently wedding planning myself and will have a registry! This is a celebration for you and your partner and the new chapter of starting together as a family. If I have a registry and a guest attends but doesn’t give a gift, that’s fine- I appreciate you attending but if someone does want to bring a gift, I would make sure it’s something that I want and need. I think certain gifts in the registries can be tacky depending on what your guests can afford. For instance, I knew someone whose family was not well off at all, and she was requesting designer candles that were $500+ and people were like wtf???? So I think it’s tacky if you’re asking for people to spend an exorbitant amount of money on something silly or if you don’t allow those big ticketed items to be contributed to by many people. For instance, if you want a fancy espresso machine $1000+, have it on the registry so that multiple people can put in money ($100-200) towards it instead of only allowing one person to have to pay for it all.
We did our registry on Amazon and they allow you to set a price range that will allow people to contribute to the gift. For example, we did every gift over $200 could be contributed to. We had a gift or two that wasn’t fully purchased, but then we used some cash we got to finish buying it.
We are doing a charity registry since my husband just really doesn’t like gift registries. But you could do a cash fund or honeymoon fund instead of the normal gifts. Or upgrade some things you already have.
There's nothing wrong with having a registry, but there is something wrong with assuming guests are trying to be sly, or that a gift is required. We did a honeymoon and donation fund instead of a registry and we still had some people give no gift. You need to live with that and can not force people to gift you something.
As the other commenter said, it's only tacky if the registry is not realistic with the prices. I know someone who had mainly $600+ gifts on a baby shower registry when their parents made a very low income, but she was demanding gifts from them.
I don't think it's sly or a facade to not have a registry.
I appreciate a registry because I would like to give something that the couple will use and enjoy and maybe even remember that it was a gift from me and my spouse. Agree with the comment not to list too many high end options but it’s okay to have one or two, if you think someone close to you might want to gift that. On the other hand, don’t fill it up with a bunch of really inexpensive items either. It’s annoying to go the registry and see that all that is available is a bunch of random, inexpensive items. Seriously, I’m not giving anyone a spatula!
Rising Star
bundle them. It means you were late to the regustry lol
I got married last year at 35 and we had a registry. A lot of the stuff we had was old by now since we got it when we graduated college. Also, we did a home projects fund and a honeymoon fund. Most people contributed to those, but we knew some people, especially older guests, wanted to get items, so that’s why we had an actual registry.