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Corporate America culture is nauseating. People always running around like their hair is on fire and someone’s life is on the line. You aren’t performing brain surgery, so if there is an ‘urgent’ item that comes up, the company can wait while you spend time with your family.
Agreed in other counties there laws and regulation that permit you to take leave. America is a nice country but not the greatest
Put in your notice as soon as you can. That is despicable behavior and the sooner you leave, the better.
This.
I find this so weird, and I work for a large corporation in America. In fact I’ve worked at many… this is just bad managers ruining it for everyone. I personally wouldn’t take bereavement time for a grandparent /extended family, only for a direct parent, sibling, spouse, etc.
Still, it shouldn’t even be an ask to get approved. If I have a family situation, whether it’s bereavement, a sick kid, or something else - I’m not asking, I’m telling. However, unfortunately that is a perk of larger companies with a policy since it’s my right to use it. Your company must either be smaller or not well established on benefits, so it’s an unfortunate situation. If I tell my manager something is up with my family, the only discussion is of what I can /can’t accommodate and then if there’s any middle ground I’d the team is tight. But if I say, I’m sorry I just can’t, then that’s what it is and I’m taking my days. I think offering WFG is more than reasonable on your part and they should be grateful you considered it.
You’re going to have to decide if you want to just work remote and ask forgiveness, or go in person. Either way, I’d be looking for a new job after this.
That’s really a shame. About 10 years ago, a college friend of mine suddenly passed and my boss, who I didn’t always get along with, immediately said go home, take your time and go to the funeral (had to travel to PA from NYC) and she was so supportive, even though it wasn’t a family member. She approved my timesheet, so didn’t care that I used bereavement and in fact, told me to use that and then bill the other day(s) to straight admin to not use my pto days.
Long story long, your boss is being completely ridiculous and not managing the team properly. The best thing a manager can have is empathy for their team and make sure they’re fostering a good and trusting environment.
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I don’t think you should have to explain that you lost someone and need to take time to deal with it. But it sounds like you may need to speak to her in a clear direct tone that you will be gone. Two days really isn’t even a lot. No one plans for family to die and she has no say in the dynamics of your family and what role you play in laying your grandmother to rest, or even the emotional impact.
I wouldn’t ask, I’d tell her or someone above her that you will be out some days and will be able to WFH (if you can) while dealing with this situation. You just have to deal with the consequences, which I assume there will be some since she is trying to deny your time. Maybe time to look for another job.
Sorry for your loss.
Whenever I’ve had bereavement, I’ve never gone straight to my manager. Always to my resource manager/scheduler/HR and then once so have their approval I forward to my direct manager.
I totally understand your point. But even though there's someone who can substitute my responsibilities, irrespective of that fact she wants me to join the base location which is like 18-20hrs far from my hometown and plus my parents need me in this tough times
Go above her. Any normal rational person would be understanding of your situation. If that doesn’t work then it’s probably time to find new employment where you’ll be respected.
I am honestly astonished to hear that there isn’t a bereavement policy of any kind at your company. Not a good look. It sounds like you do, but may I ask, do you have additional PTO days available to use? Beyond the 2 she has approved, I mean. Also, do you happen to know how much time she is going to be out, and what her plans are? At the end of the day, none of this does (or should) matter, I ask only because it sounds like you are being forced into the position of having to put up a fight.
I was incredibly close to my grandmother, more than any other person in the world- if anyone responded to me in this manner, and in spite of the fact that I was trying to meet them in the middle, I would have lost my mind on them and made it my #1 priority to burn them before walking straight out the door. The fact that bereavement policies on the whole even identity certain “qualifying” persons, and then further dictate an allotment of time for each, is nauseating to me. Who the hell is anyone else to tell me who I am/am not ~approved~ to grieve, and for how long it is appropriate and permissible to do so?
Someone mentioned it in an earlier comment, and I agree- “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.”
Dependent on response, do not hesitate for one second to go over her- whether that be to her manager/HR/etc. There is too much to lose these days… shit companies will be outed. If they have the slightest sense, they will oblige your requests.
And I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending all the good energy I can your way!
Does your state have a policy? My state mandates 5 days and then each company can go beyond that.
Call your talent team directly
Chief
It’s an unfortunate situation but if there is truest nobody to cover that role that it needs to be in person and she had requested the time off and their manager approved already then it sounds reasonable while unfortunate.
An analogy I’ll use is if there is an IT help desk that has 3 or 4 people in a particular role the company is not going to allow 75-80% of the department to be out at the same time as it could disrupt the business
No, it’s not reasonable — they’ve experienced a death in their family. Their manager should work with project leadership to find an alternate resource if the work is so very important
Grandparent deaths aren't usually covered in bereavement leaves - it's typically limited to immediate family - spouse and kids. It may sound harsh, but I'm not sure there is much you can do if your manager is opposed to extra leave, even unpaid leave.
it’s not right but i feel like deaths of your immediate family are usually treated with more respect than a grandparent/aunt/etc. if the grandparent was acting in the role of a parent for part/most of your life you should make that known and it may be easier to get more if effectively a parent passed