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Oh this post struck a cord with me!
To the women who have mastered their careers but are still searching for their person: I’ve been in your shoes, and I promise the wait is worth the reward.
As a former member of this "ambitious and successful singles" club, I truly hear your plight. Now that I’ve been living happily with my partner for two and a half years, I often look back and wonder what advice I’d give my younger self.
It is a tough rite of passage to go through. The years of pain, curiosity, and frustration are hard to forget. My biggest takeaway? Persevere until you find the RIGHT partner. A friend who found her match before I did simplified it to a numbers game: sometimes you have to date many just to find that one.
The journey can be soul destroying and exhausting. However, since you all have the drive to make a success of your careers, I have full faith you will apply that same determination to find the right life partner.
The reward is sweet (and occasionally annoying, nothing is ever perfectly rosy!), but the goal is to find the person who makes you feel like you are "home"—the one you can truly be relaxed and yourself with.
NEVER SETTLE just for financial security. Have faith; sometimes it takes longer than we’d like, especially if you're keen to start a family, but it happens when it’s meant to happen for you.
Being a strong, independent woman with your own career and financial stability is vital. The right partner won't be intimidated by your success; they will be the one cheering the loudest from the front row. They are there to complement the life you’ve already built.
Keep the faith!
Rising Star
Yes, because a man not wanting me is the problem… Baby boy it’s the other way around. The standard is just not there 🔥
Well, be honest and upfront. You are looking for someone to help "pay the way." Men are not stupid, and you can admit to this when you start dating someone, as it seems to be your primary reasoning. People look for mates for different reasons. Your decision is an economic partner. If you "own up" from the beginning, it will eliminate any "false starts," and you will only wind up with interest from men who have no problem with this qualification. On the other hand, be prepared for the word to go around your dating circles about the truth behind what type of engagement you are looking for.
You’ve completely misunderstood the brief. I don’t want someone to pay for me, just to join forces together as many normal couples do. E.g. I currently live in a 1 bed in Z2, if 2 people pay the same amount of rent, we can live in a house or split the 1 bed rent and we’d have a full deposit by the end of year 1 for a v good house.
Funny thing is, men do not make such complaints about financial ruins when single. What happened to feminism and the art of not needing a man to survive. Women alienated men and now wonder why men do not wish to have their lives disturbed further. Most men prefer to honor feminism and allow women to be accountable. We all can work and play. Why complain and needing substituted income from a man to make life suitable.
You do have one valid point: the issue is systemic. In theory, I shouldn’t need a partner in order to thrive financially. I concede that.
But the system we live in has made inflation, wage stagnation, and housing policy so distorted that building wealth as a single individual is structurally difficult. This isn’t a male vs female issue, it’s economic reality. I genuinely do not see how 95% of working men today could comfortably carry a family of four on one salary without brutal sacrifices. That model is largely dead.
Since I cannot overhaul capitalism by Tuesday, I choose to operate within reality. I intend to keep my financial freedom and look for a suitable partner I am content to treat as an equal. I do not need a man to pay for me. I want to join forces. Two incomes, shared load, shared life.
People love to say “love isn’t a transaction.” Emotionally? Yes. Materially? There is no free lunch under capitalism. Rent is not paid in poetry. Groceries do not accept vibes. Pretending money doesn’t matter in long-term partnership is a romantic delusion. Even in romantic literature class mismatches in relationships tend to end in resentment.
Realistically, women have a handful of options:
• Marry for money and accept submission. (Worst, what most “gentlemen” offer these days))
• Marry a loving man who also has money, without the archaic submission nonsense. (Ideal.)
• Stay single and preserve total agency. (Respectable.)
• Marry a good man without money and accept a harder financial road. (Possible, but costly.)
So why would I accept a 24/6 job (option 1) with a boss I have to sleep with, when I can accept a 9-5 job with a boss I can tell to fuck off at the end of my contract and have my labor and benefits protected by law at all times.
I’m not disturbing any man. On the contrary, men disturb me daily with half-baked seduction attempts to which I always say, prostitution is exactly for this reason.
And men complain about the “cost” of access to women (sex) all the time (dates, apps, dinners, whatever form it takes). Meanwhile, being a woman is objectively expensive: grooming expectations, healthcare, safety, reproductive biology. Even sharing housing becomes absurd after a certain age. Imagine having period pain from hell and period diarrhea while your flatmate is camping in the bathroom. Oh wait, you can’t imagine that.
I’m not asking to be rescued. I’m asking for partnership in a system that makes solo survival unnecessarily hard