Collecting short quotes and shenanigans from your experiences on the job other than ‘please fix’. Thanks!

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“Wow me. This isn’t wowing me. Please just wow me.”

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A client once had me draft 200+ emails that had to be personalized for every branch manager and send it to his inbox so he could send them the next day. It took me a while and my bill rate was like 400 lol. Such a great use of my time.

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There’s a difference between bill rate and your comp M5. I bill $10k/day, where are my millions?!!

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“I don’t know what I want, but not this”

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“I want the slide to punch me in the face”

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I have a OneNote full of gems. The better ones that are non-attributable and fun out of context are:

- They’re trying to put me on anything but the Acela, yeah right
- The finance guys think they know what’s going on in my life, but they don’t
- I admit that may not have been the nicest thing
- Don’t believe that partner’s sob story while he’s in Rome with his wife
- This guy was actually really annoying, so I don’t feel bad about roasting the s$&t out of him
- Can we just add our manager to Snap Map to track his location?
- I don’t want to go to <small client city>, there’s no Ritz-Carlton
- We should get better service for $700/night
- I don’t trust anyone from the IRS
- Jumping from this floor would take six seconds until impact
- We need to deword the slide and layer in this framework
- It wouldn’t be the first time someone reported me to HR
- This is why I’m not allowed at recruiting events anymore

I have another one of truly absurd stories that I may turn into a book someday.

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Do the needful

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Offshore’s version of pls fix

“She speaks like a rugby player but has the substance of an academic from an elite institution”

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“I’m not a puppet, I’m not going to let her stick her hand up my ass and make me talk”

“If [MD] stopped short then [manager] would come out of their mouth”

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“It’s like playing Russian roulette with 6 bullets.”

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“The good thing here is, it’s not just lip service”

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80/20

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What’s the executive summary?

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Is there a way we can tell the story a little differently

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You're not wrong

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“Have you ever met a team as dysfunctional as ours?” - from the client

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Don’t boil the ocean

Aah I hate this from the bottom of the ocean

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But what’s the “so what”

What’s the so what

The thousand-pound gorilla is…

It’s like drinking water from a firehose

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“Let’s postpone this meeting for two weeks. I’ve been tested positive for COVID”

We’re all working remotely and I’ve faced this situation 6 times as it is. Y’all wild but stay safe!!!

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Does HCL run BGV on UAN?

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Happy Friday! Please comment your YOE and LPA.. I'm felling low.

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Hi All,

I got an offer letter from HCL. In that they mentioned as "Agreeing to the terms and conditions is as good as signing of physical contract form between you and company. It has legal binding as per the law if mutual trust is breached."

Any problem if I not joined after accepting the offer.

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Hi sharks 🦈
This is my offer letter in IBM
Can anyone tell me as to what will be my in hand salary per month?
Appreciate your inputs 😇

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Trading stocks. Anyone notice hedgefunds going HAM with energy stock purchases since November 2021? These bank jobs aren’t about doing pivot tables for some bozo. It’s about looking at the data and conveying a message. Financial Forecasting. Try it. The answers to retirement is out there.

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Hi All,

Has anyone tried for counter offer in Bosch after accepting the offer. Will Bosch considers counter offer?

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After 3 years in TCS, I'm looking for a job switch. It would be highly appreciated if anyone can provide me with a referral to HCL.

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I know this is a different kind of heartbreak, but I just had to make the difficult decision to go no contact with my parents after years of toxic and narcissistic behavior. It’s a weird feeling of immense sadness but also freedom. Can anyone else relate?

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Hi... Anybody working here working for Deloitte Touche, Mumbai??? Have an offer to Join... Not much reviews abt the company are present online... Want to know about culture and WLB... WFH prospects??

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I’m a new analyst at a PE firm, and my associate keeps blaming me for things she does wrong. Like she will tell me I made the wrong change, even though she is the one who changed it. Or in calls with other people, she won’t take responsibility for things that she told me to do that the other person calls out as wrong. How can I handle this situation without making her mad but also not letting her step all over me?

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Any insight into Robins Kaplan? IP lit, considering a lateral there. Maybe a bit small for the Big Law bowl but hey Big Law is an arbitrary designation anyway.

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Top consulting firms right there!!

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Happy pi day 🐠

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If you pinged your colleague for something non urgent and they said they’re at the gym and they’ll get back to you in a little, how would you respond/feel?

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