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“Wow me. This isn’t wowing me. Please just wow me.”
Chief
A client once had me draft 200+ emails that had to be personalized for every branch manager and send it to his inbox so he could send them the next day. It took me a while and my bill rate was like 400 lol. Such a great use of my time.
There’s a difference between bill rate and your comp M5. I bill $10k/day, where are my millions?!!
“I don’t know what I want, but not this”
“I want the slide to punch me in the face”
Chief
I have a OneNote full of gems. The better ones that are non-attributable and fun out of context are:
- They’re trying to put me on anything but the Acela, yeah right
- The finance guys think they know what’s going on in my life, but they don’t
- I admit that may not have been the nicest thing
- Don’t believe that partner’s sob story while he’s in Rome with his wife
- This guy was actually really annoying, so I don’t feel bad about roasting the s$&t out of him
- Can we just add our manager to Snap Map to track his location?
- I don’t want to go to <small client city>, there’s no Ritz-Carlton
- We should get better service for $700/night
- I don’t trust anyone from the IRS
- Jumping from this floor would take six seconds until impact
- We need to deword the slide and layer in this framework
- It wouldn’t be the first time someone reported me to HR
- This is why I’m not allowed at recruiting events anymore
I have another one of truly absurd stories that I may turn into a book someday.
Do the needful
Offshore’s version of pls fix
“She speaks like a rugby player but has the substance of an academic from an elite institution”
“I’m not a puppet, I’m not going to let her stick her hand up my ass and make me talk”
“If [MD] stopped short then [manager] would come out of their mouth”
“It’s like playing Russian roulette with 6 bullets.”
“The good thing here is, it’s not just lip service”
80/20
What’s the executive summary?
Is there a way we can tell the story a little differently
Rising Star
You're not wrong
“Have you ever met a team as dysfunctional as ours?” - from the client
Don’t boil the ocean
Aah I hate this from the bottom of the ocean
But what’s the “so what”
What’s the so what
The thousand-pound gorilla is…
It’s like drinking water from a firehose