Does anyone else deal with a lot of backstabbers in general? I'm talking people who don't give feedback directly to you. They escalate to your manager if they don't agree or have issues with you.

I'm not at amazon anymore so not about there

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I did a lot in my early career. Found out I was autistic with adhd and was missing a lot of "neurotypical" social queues. I was also pretty disconnected due to lifelong masking so was often stressed, negative, and disagreeable on top of it. 🥴

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I don't think escalating due to disagreement is backstabbing, at least not if they're open about it.

I've had times when a person and I reach am impasse in trying to negotiate something or find middle ground. Usually for shared resources.

How else do you resolve this than to take it to leadership for guidance on the most important priorities? The person and I have always discussed it up front. I've never let them get blindsided by the escalation, nor has anyone ever done it to me.

Is this the type of scenario you're describing? Or is more cynical, they say one thing to your face and then walk away and throw you under the bus? (Like an actual backstabbing scenario) I have experienced that too and that is someone who you keep at arms length from that point forward

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It's usually blindsided and don't make it clear they disagree

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No.

I used to in my early days of my career but I feel those things came back to haunt them.

IMO, backstabbers will be found out and people will distance themselves from such characters. It hurts them in the long run.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t optimize for short term gains

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Had that in my previous company. It mostly stems from childhood where it's fair to call such a person who went straight to a teacher a crybaby. If you never learnt to confront, you continue what makes you feel safe.

In that small company it was double difficult because the person (Head of) went to the COO straight rather than to me or my manager (another Head of). They referred to going straight to the COO as feminism as women need to stand together, which is very sad because it more divides the workforce than fostering equality. I decided to leave because the COO supported this behaviour on multiple occasions whenever that person didn't get what she wanted.

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