Every time there’s a birthday, I magically become the party planner. I never signed up to source gluten-free cupcakes and organize office trivia, but somehow it’s tradition. Add in fixing the printer, training new hires, ordering supplies, restocking the fridge, and fielding complaints about the coffee machine, and I feel like I have 5 invisible jobs. Does anyone else get stuck with all the emotional labor? How do you set boundaries?

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I especially went through this when I was in nonprofit. A fellow admin made a silent protest when people expected her to also wash dishes in the sink by just putting the dirty dishes back in the cabinets and I loved that she did that.

Thankfully where I'm at now, we have a position of office assistant and they do a lot of things you are mentioning. What none of us do though are things like birthdays and those organizing. Our office manager will do that but I think that's voluntary and she doesn't have to. It only tends to happen to people she likes so that's why I think it's her.

As far as getting out of doing the extra things, I never fought it and just did it. It took much more out of me to fight it as opposed to just doing it, which is sad.

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That is a hard lesson to learn. I had to go through it twice. Slowly but surely, we start to have more tacked on. Now, when I interview or apply for jobs, I make sure the responsibilities are specific and not too broad.

OK, well yes I do get all these tasks. However, I kind of like them. They tend to be more fun and help break up the mundane of my day to day job. I also feel like the more tasks like these I do the more valuable, I become to my employer.

I wish I was doing that. Loved that when I worked as admin. I'm looking for an office job that I get to help with all that.

That is fairly standard. Leadership generally has the idea that Admin Assistants are sitting around waiting for something to do, even when you're running in 6 directions with your hair on fire. It's just the way it is.

I've done all of those things, an many more, in every job I've had. One boss literally said, "I really don't understand what it is that you do." That was wrong on so many levels, but it was the truest thing she ever said.

If you try to object, it won't go well. They'll point to that "other duties as assigned" clause in your job description.

If you have to run errands, keep track of your mileage and submit the expense. If you have to work overtime to get it all done (like stopping by a bakery on your lunch hour or after work), submit the full time the duties take as overtime. That's all you can do about boundaries. Sometimes they do decide they don't want to pay for the extra time and create a new plan.

The emotional exhaustion comes with the job. Burnout is common. Appreciation is rare. Keep a list of the extra jobs and how frequent they are and mention them as accomplishments during performance reviews. It won't count for much, but bosses still need that reminder.

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