Female team member transferred into our group 2 months ago not pulling her weight. Manager on team doesn’t have great feedback. Cries every time she feels overwhelmed expects others to do her tasks. Confided to me (crying) how horrible her past team was with her. Gave all chances I could (not saying anything, supporting ear, feedback sandwich) but behavior does not change. I tried a more direct approach. She begun a coffee chat campaign to several folks crying about me (see the pattern). Tips?

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Start documenting these incidents and talk to HR about initiating a PIP.

She seems adept at playing the victim role, watch your back and cut the compliment sandwiches immediately.

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Absolutely! If she stays on the team for a long time without change, she and management’s lack of action will be the reason for good employees leaving.

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Do we work on the same team? 😂😭 We have a lot of weaponized tears being shed too

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My company/team isn’t very attuned to working with HR, so there’s a lot of forced apologies from those being demonized. I think the right thing is to get the person you’re dealing with focused on the work in a way that’s being documented with HR. She can keep crying but she’ll be out of a job if she can’t produce.

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Someone committed to being a victim will never change no matter how much feedback you give. It’s time to start documenting and talk to HR.

likehelpful

Dealing with the exact same thing. Don’t have any advice other than document everything… but definitely commiserating with you.

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I am a bit shocked by these comments (actully not really, because Deloitte). Women do not "weaponize tears". Crying is an involuntary response to overwhelming emmotion. She needs help, not to be demonized and fired from work. Learn to be a people leader. I hope you contact HR about getting her help.... not to put her on a PIP. I would talk to her coach first. It sounds like she was traumatized by her last team.

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