Related Posts
Enthusiast
Visual Storyteller
anyone ready for AJ Brown to finally show out?
Warm Cinnamon Rolls to start the day.
Additional Posts in Tech
Pro
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
You're the boss now, not one of the workers. That's why I never make friends at work. Yes, I can be super friendly, I can have great conversations with people and learn a lot about their personal lives, but you can't be true friends. I'm sorry you feel hurt, but all in all, this is a job, and there's a certain way things work out. Once you gain authority, others may feel different about you.
That’s pretty typical. So typical that this dynamic has come up in various sitcoms - Friends, How I Met Your Mother.
You’re responsible for managing your team and their performance so it’s natural for them to now feel a little on guard around you. And often people don’t want to be on guard while they socialize.
Plus, for you, it’s important to set boundaries. Despite whatever strong relationship you had before, your employees are not your friends. You do them a disservice by trying to pretend as such. I’ve seen many managers get too close to their associates and ultimately under-manager them. It sucks but that’s the reality.
Totally normal and just part of the role. Don't take it personal and definitely don't try to get back into the group because you need to keep their respect, not be viewed as "one of them" anymore. There's this saying "You can get what you want, but you'll lose what you had." If this role is what you want, you have to accept the new dynamic that comes along with it.
It comes with leadership. You will find that managing resource is much more effective than managing a friend.