Has anyone here moved from a high COL coastal city to low COL midwest/southern city and ended up completely hating/regretting it? If so, what do you wish you had known?

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I did, and I hated it. You learn pretty quickly that most of the country is not like where you’re from. Most people my age were college dropouts working blue collar jobs. That is fine on its own, but the views they had about certain topics was surprising. It made finding friends outside of the firm very hard. And a lot of the people from the firm were from that city, so yeah…

Also, I was at a very Pro-Trump firm and that made life really difficult. I consider myself very moderate (slightly right of center), which many coastal people consider very conservative, and I still couldn’t handle it.

I was getting paid well, but it wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want to spend my late 20s/early 30s in that hellhole.

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NYC born, raised & lived in LI/NYC/Northern NJ for 40+ years. Same deal for my wife. Moved to Dallas suburbs 3+ years ago. Best decision ever. Great schools for our youngest, awesome community & neighbors, plenty of stuff to do—and can either do small town type stuff or make the easy drive downtown. Would never consider going back. Still have NY cases and go back for court proceedings, etc. but always happy we left.

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I originally thought this was the case for me. I’m from Chicago. Husband is from New York . We live in Durham (technically LCOL but transplants are driving up the prices.) I recently spent 6 weeks in New York to gauge whether we should make the move back because the thriving art, music, nightlife and food scene is obviously unmeasurable and I was missing the traditional City feel. I was staying with family in Long Island, which is where we would likely live as we have grown accustomed to more space plus I have three dogs so I need an actual house. To be blunt, I would be slumming it in New York in comparison to the quality of life I have in the south. In NY particularly, the commute is trash, everyone seems mean and miserable, and housing leaves much to be desired. I figure If I’m dying for a night out on the town I’ll just drive to the closest large city (2 hours away) and make a weekend out of it. We recently purchased a executive home for a little over 600k sitting on about an acre lot. We’re hours from the mountains and beach.

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Opposite (LCOL small town to Dallas) and I love it. Yes, it's more expensive, but I also have access to nice things like museums, nice restaurants, good shopping, concerts (pre-Rona) etc. And diversity is nice - I enjoy seeing and interacting with people who don't have the same experience as me, which was hard in my hometown.

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Sometimes it seems like many MCOL cities are now HCOL, it’s just that HCOL cities have become HCOL+.

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I am a native New Yorker (hood, not ‘hattan) and moved to a MCOL after law school.

I hated it at first. Lack of a developed dining scene with mostly chain restaurants.

Lots of young people, many of them from other places, and a vibrant bar scene, but that scene made me wonder if I’d want to raise a family here. Public school system was very weak compared to even the inner-city schools I attended growing up (although I didn’t appreciate that until I had kids).

Eventually, the food scene blossomed and the bar scene at least developed some more sophisticated options (each on a relative basis at least - few cities will ever compare with NYC on those fronts). We found good magnet schools within the public school system to which we could send our kids. My wife has become pretty heavily involved in our local political scene, particularly a the state house and school board levels (something that would have never happened in NYC or her hometown of Chicago). And we have a reasonably large and nice home less than 2 miles from the central business district.

So we eventually came around on this MCOL that’s just big enough to have just one pro sports team (2 if you count MLS). But we will still probably retire elsewhere.

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Damn. I thought Portland.

Moved from Houston to so cal. Love it.

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Yes. Moved from a high cost of living city to a lower cost one (albeit in the same region). Worked at the top firm in the city and hated it. I was pissed that I was expected to bill the same hours as my friends in bigger cities for 50k+ less in pay. I left after 1 year and went back to old city. I wish I had fully understood the pay scale ahead of time. The first year salaries may be closer, but the gap grows very fast as you rise. I also wish I understood the culture of the new city better. Was a total mismatch for me. Too conservative and traditional.

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I grew up in a small Midwest town and now work in NYC (well technically NJ because of WFH, but I digress). It really depends on your values. If you’re the type of person who can’t find anything to talk about with people who (a) have a different view on life than you (be that political or otherwise) or (b) don’t work in corporate jobs, then you might hate it.

I personally was shocked when I moved here five years ago on the lack of ideological diversity in the NYC/law bubble. Elsewhere in the country you’re likely to regularly have to interact with people who may hold a very different outlook on life. I view this as a pro for other places as I tire of groupthink that occurs in HCOL coastal markets but to each their own.

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A7, I’ve already lived in a different part of the country with people like that. It goes both ways. Many people who voted for Trump can’t articulate why they feel a certain way about something. I’ll engage in a conversation with someone who has conviction and can explain their rationale for certain things.

I think I actually prefer the low(er) COL city. However, as I get older, I regret not being closer to family. I don’t know.

Following because I think about doing this all the time. I’ve spent a good amount of time on the coasts and in the Midwest, and I’m currently living in a HCOL city, where I have family, but not sure if I should make the move to a LCOL cold weather / 4 seasons town where SO has family.

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