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I messed ups no need help. Idk where to turn.
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Just got my 3 year chip! I still have problems in life and I face them now with a clear head. Now I’m making progress against those things I had been ignoring for years (decades?)
Congrats!
Congratulations! 3 years is awesome!
Rising Star
Congrats OP!!! How do you do it? I had 23 months on Tuesday, I have had many (but not all 12) of the promises realized through the help of the program. My fear of people and financial insecurity still hasn't left me, despite the fact I a have learned I am objectively likeable and financially secure. Meetings, asking for help, establishing a relationship with a higher power, seeking service to others, living one day at a time, and calling AAs are my key tools for maintaining peace and serenity. I also journal and work the steps on new petty resentments and fears as they arise. Peace and serenity are the greatest gift to me from the program, something I never knew before. It's led to joy. I had what I think was my psychic change at around 14 months. Nothing materially changed about my life but one day I looked around and my outlook on life was optimistic. My drinking days were dark, full of fear, and a strong desire to end my life. I can't believe I lived that way for 15 years but I was equally afraid of change. I can't wait to see what else this program can do for me and others. I am on a cruise as we speak, surrounded by alcohol with a magic card that could give me all the drinks I want. The thought of a drink has not even crossed my mind, the obsession has left me (for today)
Congrats! Almost at the two year mark! You know, I did 30 days in detox and rehab, 3 months in PHP/IOP with sober living, met a great group of folks in the house, and we keep in touch, and champion each others successes and growth. AA wasn’t for me, I tried it (they made us while in sober living), but I took to SMART Recovery for a little bit. That fell by the wayside, once I learned coping strategies and recognizing triggers and how to either avoid them, or deal with them.
What has worked for me is therapy, lots and lots of therapy. I finally found a therapist that is working with me to back track my childhood trauma, which can be tough, but it’s worth it. My girl and I go to couples therapy to work through the years of just s*it that I bestowed on our relationship. I have a great psychiatrist that is working with me to find the right mix to balance me out.
I was on naltrexone for a little while, maybe 4 months, but since have been off it. A healthy dose of exposure therapy has helped me as well. I hate when you go out with friends and family who know you’re sober and they don’t order a drink, just order a FN drink, it’s okay!
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Next week will be 7 years, which is crazy because 7 days used to be virtually impossible. A drink never seems like a good idea, but I’d be lying if I said there weren’t days that I craved an escape. Thinking, more than drinking, is where my focus is these days.
It’s crazy how quickly it goes by right. I couldn’t string 12 hours together, unless I was comatose. I think about it too, I think I can handle it, this time will be different. If there’s one thing I learned from treatment, and seeing and hearing the stories of folks that have been through it 3, 4, 5 times, the more I realize that it’s probably not a good idea.
I will tell you, Friday was tough. I received a job offer, literally a dream job, that I no way would have gotten in the condition I was in. It was Valentine’s Day, I wanted to celebrate, you know? My relationship is as good as it’s ever been, things are moving in the right direction financially, it was tough for sure.
Congrats OP! Coming up on 2 years in about a month for me. So lucky to have such a supportive partner in my journey. Life is good. I’m with you… no idea how/why I made myself feel like crap constantly. Wild.
OP what was the deciding factor that made you go to rehab? Not asking what your rock bottom was, just my brother has a serious drug and alcohol problem that's destroying every aspect of his life except for his career. Hes talked about rehab a few times but hasn't committed, did you have an intervention or what pushed you to finally go?