Hi! So I have to lay 12 people off this week. It’s unexpected and I am really struggling. I’m struggling with the emotional part knowing I’m causing an issue for them personally. I’m struggling thinking of what I am going to say to those remaining on the respective team and those on the greater team. I’m also getting in my head about how I look as a leader as I am the first at my firm to have to do this. I wouldlove to hear from anyone who has gone through this. Not looking forward to this week.

I beg to differ from the whole “sticking to the script concept.” Yes, you have to follow the ridiculous HR script… but PLEASE let your humanity shine through. Allow your emotions to show. I was recently laid off and I thought it was so lame that my manager didn’t have any humanity as they read through a bland script and raced out the door. We are human so be human as much as you can be within the confines of what HR is demanding. It means if a tear rolls down your cheek, let it. It will mean so much to those laid off that this wasn’t your choice and that you care about them and the situations that they are entering when you walk away.

As an aside here, not everyone is crushed to be laid off. Some are happy for the severance, unemployment, and a chance to travel. Then they resurface in a better job.

It’s the hardest thing I’ve done in my career. Stick to the script, have HR on the line, give them references, and support them in their transition if you are able. Hopefully you can honestly tell the rest of your team that it was a difficult but necessary business decision and no further layoffs are currently anticipated.

It is hard to do this and it doesn’t get easier. I have done layoffs three times in my career and many performance-based separations in between. Hated it every single time.

1. It is true that you do need to stick to the script in terms of what you need to communicate, to keep you focused and to ensure you and your firm are covered from legal perspective. And, yes, saying things like I understand how you feel, I’ve been there - do not say that.
2. That said, it is ok to show your vulnerability and emotions as long as you can keep it together. You cannot lose it. It is also good to be transparent to the extent possible. I go with 3 parts:
-I usually start with - I am sorry I have to deliver this bad news. Do not tiptoe or do pleasantries. -Then do the official part, but make sure there are references to how bad the firm/department are doing and that this is a layoff vs a performance-based separation. I usually go with something like - as you know, our firm is significantly below plan and as a result we had to make a very hard decision to separate x% of our people (try to give them details so they know they’re not the only one - make sure HR approves the talk track). Unfortunately your role is one of them.
-Pause and let them process. Give them an opportunity to respond. Reiterate that this is not a performance decision. Say you’re thankful for their contributions. If appropriate and you’re sincere, add this does not define you as a person. You are a hard worker and excellent at xyz. I know you will be successful in your next role. If there’s anything I can do to help (only say this if you’re serious), please let me know.
3. The focus will be on them, but don’t forget that you’re human too and it will be hard on you as well. Give yourself some grace. Plan an easy day for yourself when you’re doing this. I usually cancel all high stress meetings etc to the extent possible.

An important thing to note - everyone processes this differently and you cannot predict how they will do so. You should be prepared for that. In my experience, most people are visibly upset and shocked but professional and are quiet. Some cry. Some start bargaining. Some get angry and start blaming and yelling. You just pause let them have that moment and move on. If it gets really bad, HR will jump in. The hardest for me was the folks who were thankful and appreciative of the opportunity.

Hang in there. Big hug.

Stick to the script provided by HR. Do not say things like, “I can imagine how you feel,” or “I know how you feel.” Keep it all business, even if they are a personal friend. This is not personal, so don’t make it personal on the outside, even if you are torn inside. They need to know that this is a business fluctuation and more importantly the ways in which your company is going to support them in the coming days/weeks.

I’m sorry to hear this. Agree with stick to the script.

I’ve laid off about 100 people, the first time is the hardest. And know that it really may be harder on you than it is on them. Also know that if you saw their value, and hired them, someone else will see their value too.

Also know that this may be harder on you than it is them. Many are likely aware that it’s coming, some may already have jobs lined up. Some will be relieved. Some will be pissed because their egos will be crushed. Some will be genuinely sad and you will hate to let them go.

Question - why are you laying them off? Did you lose a project or is this a cut off the bottom 10% situation?

It may be helpful for you to remind yourself that a company is not a charity. Some companies over hired in recent years, and some companies didn’t consider the positive impact AI had on productivity. Also not considered was the increase in non productive workers since Covid. Some people, some even in this app, brag about working 2 and even 3 full time jobs simultaneously while WFH.

If the company is laying off simply to increase profit than that sucks and it’s hard to defend. Make sure you are personally secure in your job too. It’s not uncommon that a manager cuts a team then the manager gets laid off too.

Thank you everyone! Really appreciate the feedback, advice, and support.

If you have a heart, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do. I’ve had to lay off friends, which nearly killed me. Honestly, it feels like it changed me from the inside out. Start with empathy and ease them in — “this is going to be a really tough conversation” — then don’t belabor anything. Offer to help extend your network to any you’re comfortable recommending. And check in on each of them in a month or so with a quick text, email, or LinkedIn message. Best of luck. It’s so awful but a necessary part of leadership.

as a person who does that type
of projects all the time i would suggest the following angle of view:
1. if your company follows legislation AND ethics, all lay off will be very well paid (at least this is how it works in Europe).
many people will be truly happy to receive that package.
2. many people stay at work demotivated, and despite they cannot provide value, they stay.
you help THEM to move to a better job AND you help to a company to become healthier and more sustainable
3. stick to the text written by your HR/lawyers but remember that tone of your voice and body language will make the main difference
4. have very clear Change management plan in place both for "Day D" and at least 3 months after

HR should coach you through all of this and be on the line for support on things you cannot answer

Don’t worry about the rest of the team that stays. It’s a big relief, and sometimes happiness and pride for them not to have been impacted, and they forget it quickly.

It sucks. Everyone has mixed feelings. Do it as quickly as possible. Have a script. And get off the call/ out of the room asap. Let HR take over.

Hi- I would be happy to connect. I had to do 2 layoffs last year. It was not easy but I have advice for you. We finally turned it around. I have remote positions open if it’s helpful to offer a softer landing for some.