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Coach
Do what is good for your family first, then career.
Having worked for two of the companies you mentioned above (Xero and REA), I can tell that although there's a lot of momentum and pace in these companies, both of them highly supported work life balance arrangements. Of course this depends on many variables such as your direct manager support, the portfolio itself but if you are upfront about your needs during the interview I guess you will find out whether they can accommodate your requirements or not.
I would say go for it and have an honest conversation about what matters to you and how you could help, both companies are led by lovely people.