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This is something I’ve been thinking about as well. My parents have a great LTC plan. My dad is in memory care and is receiving $12k/month for 5 years, which more than covers the monthly cost of the facility. LTC plans are not what they were when my parents purchased them. We are RE and will look into a plan closer to 50. But I’m fully expecting our savings and inheritance will need to cover care.
Having been through exactly this, we started with home care. Expensive and hit or miss quality. Family, not my mom, made the decision to choose a skilled nursing/assisted living community near all family (not just one family member, if possible, so they don't get worn out by becoming the sole designated caregiver by the facility) and she was involuntarily moved there. She initially hated us for it, but eventually said it was for the best. But one, and preferably more, family member has to regularly be there and be in contact with the facility managers, director of nursing, and day-to-day caregivers by popping in unannounced on a regular basis. Check and double check the medications and care regimen so they know that somebody is watching them. Don't dismiss out of hand the complaints of your loved one, since they may be true. Get to be on a first name basis with the director of the facility and involve the director of nursing every chance you get. Unfortunately, finances will dictate the decision and your grandad ultimately won't make the decision - you and your family will because when his money and assets run out and he's still living, you're going to have to pay for it. So gather the family now and face that reality sooner than later. Figure out a plan that most, if not all, of the family will agree to, and go with it. You'll be glad you did. Ultimately, it's the only way you'll survive without going broke. The heartache and regret in some form is always going to be there, but it's for the best.
It’s hard for sure.
My father in law died in home hospice after a short illness. My mother in law lived another 10 years after that, buy needed 3 years of nursing home care for worsening dementia. Luckily she had enough assets to pay for it.
Planning ahead is key. You need full financial and health care power of attorney, plans to safeguard assets, and care plans all figured out before you need them.
Very afraid for my parents, as they have only a fraction of the assets of my in laws. No history of dementia in the family, but my grandmother is 105 years old.
I never understood why people act like a long life indicates winning. My Dad and my uncles were very clear about how hard those last miles of life are, and now everything is so expensive, the financial piece is also scary, not to mention no good care options. Unfortunately, elder abuse is rampant, even if one has money - see Brooke Aster.