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First, you are not crazy. This is real life and it’s completely alarming and unprofessional. Secondly, you are right — it is time to find a new role for an appreciative company. Again, you are not crazy - this the minimum. Thirdly, believe in yourself to find that new role. I have no idea who you are but I have a strong feeling YOU can and will move forward. Fourth, be kind and patient with yourself. You’ve read the writing on the wall, now its time to find a new boss that doesn’t feel challenged by your abilities. That takes time but trust that wheel is in motion.
I just left a position where I endured the same thing. I’d been planning to leave since December but it took a few months for me to gather the courage and another couple of months find a new job. If I could give any advice… start planning your exit. I tried to talk to my boss about her behavior during my annual review, and she got super defensive and turned everything around on me. She actually told me “we thought we were getting a CFO when we hired you, clearly THAT didn’t work out. You don’t have the skill set”. No crap I don’t have the skill set, that’s not my position title nor is it my background. Had I thought that’s what the position was, I never would have interviewed or accepted the job. And why did you wait until my annual review to bring that up?? Anyway, there’s no guarantee that your boss will be receptive to the criticism, and in my experience it’s not worth trying to salvage.
I’m sorry you’re finding yourself in this position and having to consider these options. Have you tried having a very specific conversation with her about this? Has she diminished you or “shot you down” openly? I’m wondering if she is feeling pressure from above and shifting her focus away from her team. This is not acceptable, but we’re human, right? I, personally, would set a meeting called “Career Path Building” or “Mentoring” or something like that and explain where you are in your career, what your goals are, and what you need from her to feel supported. Maybe she genuinely has no idea and thinks you’re happy where you are. Again, that’s on her for not initiating these conversations herself, but we must be responsible for our own progress. I hope this reminds her that she has a motivated, driven team, and she realigns her priorities. If she doesn’t and she turns it all back to you or shuts the conversation down, you have your answer and it’s time to move on. This also hinges on: do you even want to grow with this company? Is it even worth the time to have this conversation? If you’re over it or topped out or if there’s no space for you to grow, it might be time to make a move anyway. Best of luck 🍀
Coach
From someone who has been there -
While you are looking for work, take advantage of your companies mental health options. If that isn’t available - sign up with talkspace or better health or something. You’ll need the venting space and tools to get there.
Wow. I’m in the exact same boat. I have expressed concerns to superiors about my growth trajectory and being left of of conversations, or them having no sense of urgency about addressing issues until it’s too late. The only solution I can think of is taking your time to find something better. We can do this. Good luck hunting!
out of*
I left. My last manager was like that. It was disgusting and hard and I spiralled into a depression because I felt so useless. But that was all her own doing, controlling, and issues and actually had nothing to do with me (which doesn't make you feel better in that situation).
I was lucky that I was able to leave but that was the longest 8 months of my life!
I just went through this exact situation. They ended up canceling my contract right at 5pm on a Friday and I didn’t receive notice until the next day on a Saturday… while I was out shopping for an event that evening.
It sucks but please get out while you can. I’m wishing you the absolute best in your search. 🤞🏽
I understand your frustrations. My boss wants me to lead my projects but she gatekeeps some things that impact my project and I learn after the fact she had the info all along and I wasted my time chasing down all these rabbit holes when she could have just looped me in the first place. It’s really frustrating.
I'm in the same situation. I've been overly communicating what I've accomplished on a daily basis to keep her off my back (even though she said she doesn't need to be involved in the day to day). Sharing some of the toxicity with HR (they can't be trusted so I don't share everything). Scheduling future PTO and work from home days to get away while I job search. Use ChatGPT to revamp my resume and cover letter. I would also utilize any wellness options your company has, talk to your own therapist, work with your doctors to get on short term disability due to declining mental health from the job toxic work environment. Good luck. 💗