How do you manage the anxiety that is working with a harsh senior associate? Mine gives condescending feedback, makes you feel like you’re wasting their time when asking questions and for mentorship time, and expects perfection without any guidance whatsoever.

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Go into auto pilot mode and don’t internalize it.

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Rise above it.

This power structure is by design temporary. They may leave, or you will. Or both of you will become partners, and hopefully have your own clients and sources of work. New associates will come. They are enjoying their 15 minutes of fame. It’s nothing more than that. Keep things friendly and ignore them as much as possible until it passes.

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I know it’s hard, but try not to take it personally. Focus on establishing the right expectations with them (i.e. get clear answers on what they need from you) and deliver. Treat them like a client (they may well be in the future). All you are doing is managing expectations and delivering consistently to a difficult client. Most importantly, protect your peace and don’t let their behavior get to your head. They’ll be the way they are, and you keep doing your good work!

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There's no changing that person at this point. They probably ate a lot of shit and somehow succeeded in the pressure cooker. If you don't want to do that or know you can't deep down, you should plan for a chance. For now though, I would encourage you to see this in a positive light with the fact that they are training you in their own fucked up way and care to spend any time on you. See what you can make from it. For me personally, I ended up having panic attacks for the first time in my life and it did not go well.

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Ask the questions that you need to ask to complete an assignment, but do not expect this person to mentor you (and as someone else mentioned, don’t internalize it). Move on to someone else who is willing to invest in your growth.

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Prayer and therapy. My faith in Jesus is what gets me through everything, including working with difficult associates, partners, clients and judges. My therapist helps me process and put things in perspective.

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its one thing to give critical feedback but its another to make you feel like you are wasting their time. tell them that its mutually beneficial for you to be able to ask questions upfront so that mistakes are prevented downstream. remind them that they were once junior too and also made mistakes

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Does this senior associate have this same reputation with other associates? For what it’s worth, I worked with a senior who fits the description above, was known for this behavior when working with juniors/mids, etc. The working relationship only improved when I directly called the senior out on it. I’m not sure anyone had ever voiced the feedback directly to them.

What is it with senior associates carrying a chip on their shoulder? The one in our office served as an ally up until he received a harsh review from the Shareholders and then passed the buck to the paralegal. Seems to me that their failure is someone else’s fault? No ownership. Definitely trending in big law.

What practice group? Is it litigation?

Disregard what they say and don’t internalize it, try to avoid working with them if possible, or find a new job. Depends on how difficult it is for you.

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