How important is attractiveness in getting a job? I’ve been looking for a new job for months without bites. I’m overweight (trying to lose) and my partner/parents keep telling me hiring is all about looks. I’m Ivy League/t14/12 years at V100, but can’t get any bites.

Not all about looks, there are some ugly successful attorneys. I would even say looks are barely important. But it can tip the scales if you're more attractive vs messy... people make presumptions about fat people like they are lazy and undisciplined so it can definitely be factored in but for the most part qualifications matter more

Any time I go to Drybar before an interview, I get the job. When it’s styled well, I have really good hair. I do think there’s a correlation (but maybe it’s just that I feel good and exude more confidence).

T14 and 12 years at a v100? No one cares what you look like. If you're not getting bites it's because it's hard to lateral at 12 years - if you're not a partner with a book of business, what are you bringing to the table? What's your practice area and what types of jobs are you looking at? Your parent and your parents are a-holes and they're wrong.

The only time I’ve seen looks matter is if the applicant was sloppy or unkempt for their interview (think wrinkled clothes, underdressed, hair unbrushed, ect.). Unless that’s you, shame on your partner and your partners for even suggesting you’re not getting hired because of your looks.

I am so bothered that you are getting this feedback from your family. Unless you are like in 1,000 pound life territory where your weight constitutes a physical disability, I can't imagine your weight being a hiring factor. What is your family background? Guessing they are not lawyers. Please don't be hard on yourself. You accomplished so much in your professional life. What is your practice area and how many other places have you worked?

Genetic attractiveness or being thin, no - but looking "put together," yes - I think that's important. A little makeup, tidy hair (and natural is certainly fine), neat nails in neutral or no color, some (minimal, classic) jewelry.

I say this as someone very overweight who went swamp witch feral as soon as I landed my last job.

If you’re a woman and significantly overweight, it could ABSOLUTELY be making a difference. I have been actually fat during various times in my career and despite having excellent credentials and social skills, I got shut out of positions and saw a wildly disparate set of results than my colleagues/friends who were similarly situated. I won’t get into all the many examples but suffice to say that many judges and big law partners were very excited about me on paper only to turn cold and disinterested upon seeing me. Research definitely shows a stigma against fat people especially women, in all kinds of areas, and fat women get paid less than their thin counterparts (also less than fat men). I don’t know your weight and gender, but I just think that a lot of people are being naive to act like this couldn’t possibly be the case.

As someone who is legitimately fat, I'm really surprised by this post.

I've never once considered that I didn't get a position because of my looks. 100 out of 100 times it's either because I'm not qualified for the position or they didn't like my personality (way more noticeable than my weight as far as I can tell).

I would expect a candidate with your years of experience to have a book of business or be off partner track.

Something is off here, but I truly have a hard time believing the issue lies in your weight.

I don’t think it matters that much as long as you project confidence. Maybe does if you are more on the extreme end of the spectrum (e.g. 50+ pounds overweight)

So many people gained weight during COVID, and haven’t lost it. And so many of us work from home, so only our faces are visible during meetings. I don’t doubt there is bias around weight, but body shape norms seem more relaxed these days.

Also, your partner and parents are wrong about hiring being all about looks, and you certainly don’t need to be thin to be good-looking. Sure, being attractive can help, but to suggest that a female attorney’s appearance is the critical factor for hiring seems a bit sexist.

I think it’s psychologically healthiest to embrace your body shape and work with what you’ve got. I’m sure you’re a brilliant and accomplished attorney, and your next employer will be lucky to have you.

Wait I’m sorry is… is your partner calling you unattractive…?

Well....I mean it can but why are the people around you making it the main thing? How rude. I'd say it's only a factor. It seems like a pretty hard market right now.

I honestly think it depends on the interviewer. I’ve been passed on because of my looks and I’ve gotten jobs because of my looks. There is no rhyme or reason.

Out of curiosity, are you getting interviews? Does your website photo show you are overweight? Or are you in a small practice area and known? Only asking since you jumped to that and appearance. I am of similar experience and significantly overweight and wondering if il face the same issues searching. I wouldn’t think it would stop you from getting interviews but I wouldn’t be shocked if looks played a role in making a final decision in the world we live in.

I mean I definitely think it plays in (unfortunately) especially for women. But I think its more of an unconscious bias in hiring and May go hand in hand with confidence and ability to project confidence in your work. Have you worked with any recruiters? You may want to talk to a few and get feedback on your s pedi if experience and the current hiring market.

I got my current job when I was 100 pounds overweight. I have heard some people admit that they assume if you don’t have the diligence to be healthy you don’t have the diligence to be at the top of your game. I’ve since lost that weight and in hindsight, I really wasn’t at the top of my game. I didn’t have the stamina, my sleep apnea from the weight impacted my sleep quality and thereby my ability to function. Being that large takes such a toll on you and my unhappiness and lack of wellness really permeated every aspect of my life. Perhaps your family is trying to encourage you to make some healthy changes and if you did, you’d feel better and more confident. I agree with others that confidence is key to hiring.

OP regardless of what you look like, it sounds like you have a wonderful education and amazing experience, but based on your responses it sounds like the messaging from your family and partner has deeply affected you and probably skewed the story you tell yourself, and that for sure will affect the vibes you’re giving off. I would maybe talk to a therapist or a career coach (the latter really helped me work on my self worth), perhaps that will help you transform in the way you present in interviews so that you show the best most confident version of yourself. Rooting for you!

As someone that recently lost 85 pounds, I can tell you that the difference in treatment and perception is real, unfortunately so. That said, you seem to have good credentials so you need to reevaluate your resume/how you are marketing/presenting yourself. You’ll always transmit your insecurities. If looks/weight is something you’re insecure about you either have to work on it or own it, (or both?), but you have to work on your confidence. Even in your message you’re putting the focus on your looks/what ppl say about them rather than how accomplished you are. Flip the script on yourself first so you flip it on them.

overweight is not the issue. do you present a professional appearance? i agree with the comment of another poster. if you look sloppy, your approach to work may be sloppy. i once rejected an overweight interviewee because, inter alia, her blouse was straining and gaping. apparently she had gained weight since she bought it and didn’t wear one with proper fit to the interview. there are inexpensive ways to get appropriate clothes that fit. i agree with the comment about projecting confidence

Being attractive matters. You don’t have to be gorgeous. Being fat is just a turnoff for hiring because it gives off the impression of being lazy and not put together.