How to become less agreeable at work? Increasingly find that the most successful folks in consulting and Corp America tend to be less agreeable than your average worker and to a certain extent more exploitative in their dealings. Nice guys do finish last (or get performance managed out).

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Sociopaths finish first.

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Does that translate to firm on boundaries and saying no? I realized that the firmer I am with setting the boundaries, the more respect I receive from people. Of course, I do my job and stay in my lane.

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1000% you get more respect by holding your boundaries and being less accommodating to people. I used to be concerned with “having people like me” but it never worked. So I decided to forgo wanting to be liked and instead requiring respect. I found that I much prefer being respected than being liked.

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I’m considerably less agreeable (autistic) and it hasn’t helped me one bit. I’m constantly being told I’m “difficult” even when I push back on basic boundaries. I report into the Csuite at a F500 and at my level it’s all about being liked, even if that means eating sh*t constantly.

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So I guess you are perfect and NEVER / EVER make mistakes, holding people to higher standards you could never reach, being RUDE, lacking decorum/tact, zero compassion? This is a question.

Its not about being less agreeable. Most people speak when there is nothing to say and leaders know when to ignore them. For example, how many times have we heard someone say “our approach is more customer centric …..”. I have met a chief commercial officer, she stopped the presenter and asked as compared to what? Most people call her difficult but she will call out BS sales pitches and non-answer.


Learn your subject matter and be ready to agree with what is correct and call out BS.

A lot of people will give BS answer and then say, I hope I answered your question. A smart person will say either yeah or no, you didn’t. Most people who ask questions for the sake of asking will say yes you did, thank you even when the answer was BS.

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You need to strengthen your critical thinking skills. That doesn’t mean being critical of everything, but rather learning to weigh what you hear against what you know to be true and what reputable research supports…

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They did an hbs study on this recently, and yes - you’re correct

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Maybe watch a YouTube video on it

Be a good person but make better boundaries

Understandmyself.com

I think subject matter expertise helps. If you points are rooted in facts, then you actually earn respect that way. Being well read in subject helps!

Set boundaries and stick to them. This is human training 101.
You teach people how you want to be treated.

There’s a lot of interesting research on psychopathy in the workplace and “success” climbing the corporate ladder. Go do some digging for it!

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