I haven't had a hobby that didn't involve drinking for networking in five years. I used to play the guitar and go hiking, but now my leisure time is just bar association happy hours and informal dinners with potential referrals. I’ve become a very successful, very well-paid, incredibly boring person. How do you start a hobby when your brain is so work focused all the time?

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I’m 2.5 years sober. I spend my free time with my wife and 3 kids, exercising, or at Church. These 3 things are literally all I did today.

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I’ve always heard: if you work with your mind, rest with your hands. If you work with your hands, rest with your mind.

For lawyers, it could help to take up a hobby that doesn’t involve thinking so much! For me, I like to embroider/needlepoint. My husband creates leather goods for fun. You could paint, do crafts, etc!

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Most attorneys become very boring people if they weren’t already. The job takes up so much space in your mind, body, and soul that it doesn’t leave much room for anything else. You need something that you love so much that you make the space for it. And be prepared to very possibly be more exhausted, but ideally happier.

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I was good until my first kid gave up naps. Now I work, raise children, maintain the house, and on rare occasions, do a bit of professional but unaffiliated writing or networking

"How do you start a hobby when your brain is so work-focused all of the time?"

You decide to.

That's it. That's the answer. You make a conscious choice that for X hours on Saturday morning, you are not a lawyer. You are a person who plays guitar badly, or gets winded on a trail, or burns dinner trying a new recipe. The work brain doesn't go quiet on its own — you have to tell it to sit down.

The harder truth? You already know how to do this. You built a successful practice by prioritizing business development and doing the work. A hobby is the same discipline aimed in a different direction.

As for the networking-as-leisure problem — you're not alone. A lot of lawyers wake up one day and realize their entire social life has a billable subtext. The fix is the same: schedule something that has no ROI. Protect that time the way you protect your best client's deadline. It will feel unproductive at first. That's how you know it's working.
You don't have to become a different person. You just have to give the existing one somewhere else to be for a few hours a week.

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Take a class that meets at a certain day/time so there’s a better chance of keeping it going and following through.

I tried taking a class that met at 7:30 on Tuesdays. It last about 2 weeks until work demands made it impossible. Sigh.

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This is mean, 100%. I always had fresh news/stories/fails from my hobbies, and things I had planned to look forward to. Now, I'm really good at my field and networking, but zeroed out my hobbies and never have mental bandwidth to plan in advance. I don't really know what I'm doing with my life, but I'm young enough to recalibrate if I can somehow shake my seemingly bottomless drive.

*this is me, not mean.

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