I was told that people weren’t willing to give me honest (negative) feedback because I’m too nice and I’m the relationship attorney for the matters they work on. But then I just received a very negative annual review, I was really shocked and blindsided. How am I supposed to get honest feedback before the annual review in the future?? I’m a female/minority if that matters.

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Sorry you were blindsided. Take this as an opportunity to take a different approach. Everytime you turn something in, ask for redlines, feedback, areas of improvement. Make sure you cross reference the company’s docs so you’re aligning your work product with the company’s. Goodluck!

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Always go in NetDocs and look at partner emails and final products to cross reference what you sent them vs what they sent to client or filed! They may lie, but redlines do not.

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I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s not fair that they gave negative feedback for the first time in an annual review

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Do you think the annual review is accurate?

Does it contain concrete, actionable feedback, or just vague personality feedback about your demeanor, being “too nice,” etc.?

If you’d like to discuss this in the Woman of Color Bowl, I’ll post the link below.

https://joinfishbowl.com/bowl_kpyjo7n1s9

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1. Stop calling yourself & thinking of yourself as a minority. You are part of the Global Majority. Shift this mindset, recognize who you are in that context and your “nice” persona, which was weaponized against you can grow. 2. Understand now that they lied to your face & are not your friends or mentors. 3. When doing motions, letters, or other projects get samples of what others have done, not just the partner you’re turning items in for. This will be the only way you’ll see what standard is being used for others & if your feedback is fair. For ex. I’ve seen men, mainly white, get away with doing 5 page reports but women being called out if they don’t do longer “comprehensive” ones. Your firm did you dirty, so for as long you stay, you’ll need to see where you truly are in comparison so you don’t internalize the lies they’ve told about you.

likesmart

Thank you so much !

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