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Honestly, just don't feed into it at all. If they're trying to stir you up, just act completely disinterested in what they are saying. If that makes them heated, offer to revisit another time when they can be less emotionally impacted by your conversation. They just want a reaction out of you to feed their inner crying child so don't give them one and hope they decide to go to therapy one day.
Can you elaborate? Need a story time
My new fave "And you're telling this to people? Really? Okay..." and just dismiss any and all further questions
it’s just really frustrating when they do it infront of others
Oh then definitely pull the let's revisit when you're less emotional card. Or just laugh at them. Or ask them to repeat themselves, most people aren't ballsy enough to restate that oh-so-hilarious sassy remark.