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Rising Star
Law firms, which are largely still boys’ clubs, are often hostile to mothers as a way to push women out of their firms.
It sucks
Just here to add that I'm a mother of 2 and on the partnership track.... Having kids and taking leave each time has not hurt my career. There are firms that do not do this.
Law isn’t built for mothers. If you want kids, you’d better have a Plan B and a thick skin.
This is wrong. It’s super hard and you need a ton of support, but we get paid enough that you can hire what you need and handle it.
You saw this- then you know how they gonna treat you in the future.
The best you can do is to plan ahead
Sadly law is like that at some firms. It’s important to be picky where you devote your practice, pay attention to clues and how they treat other lawyers, ask questions and observe during the interview, etc. If this is what the firm is like I think you can stay and try to change it, or, the better option, go elsewhere to a firm that respects its employees, male and female who wish to have and/or support their families. Those later firms exist. I am a mother of two. At my prior firm (which took me a few years of practice to find), where I had my second kid, I wanted to be elevated to partnership. The firm respected maternity/paternity leave and work life balance. The managing partner told me I could take the time off. But I had a demanding corporate client that was used to interfacing only with me. So I took off a couple of weeks and worked from home for about two months after giving birth. The firm never asked me to limit my time off. It was solely my choice. I’m not sure if that was the reason I made partnerships few months later or not, but the fact that when my time came, my firm respected my family spoke volumes to me. It made me want to work harder to help my firm succeed. So you don’t have to pay the price but unfortunately I think my firm was an aberration. If family is important, or you think it might be in the future, start the plan now.
So I think this is very common and telling of how you would be treated. But I don’t think it is every firm. If you want kids, I would start looking to lateral somewhere else. During the interview I would try to get info from women interviewers about the firms benefits generally. If/when they bring up parental leave I’d ask about ramp-up/down periods and how women are incorporated back in. If the are vague about sharing info or there are no female interviewers that’s a red flag.
Not every firm is like this. If you want children, make a planned exit.
And people wonder why we aren’t having kids. 🤔