If my parents' love language is something really annoys or even offends me, should I be an ungrateful kid and stay away from my parents?

likehelpfulfunny
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That is NOT a “love language.” That is not what love language means.

That’s a complete disrespect of your privacy and boundaries, and potentially a weird need to brag due to insecurities and/ or caring too much what others think.

likehelpful

Due to the lack of additional context, I say moving out would be a great starting point.

like

Context for my mum's love language: She spreads my personal information everywhere. She loves talking about me, even strangers on the internet. She shares my medical history, my salary, where I work, etc. I talked to her on this for so many times, and she doesn't understand privacy and boundary. She always responds like they don't even know whom you are. I was so pissed that I decided to completely walk away from her and I even blocked her number. Now I'm wondering whether I did the right thing.

helpful

Showing love doesn't mean you don't get to have boundaries. "Mom, I love you so much and I really appreciate that you're proud of me, but I am not comfortable with other people knowing these things about me. I love being able to share things with you, but if you can't respect my privacy, I won't be able to tell you this sort of thing any more"

Reiterating - that's definitely not a "love language" that's just a lack of respect for your boundaries. Love language would be "words of affirmation" and would involve her talking about how proud of you she is, not sharing your private details

like

Hispanic moms have left the chat 🚶‍♀️. One thing they will do is tell our business to everyone back home. 💀

smart

That's what my mom does, and she keeps saying she does so because she loves and misses me so much. She wants to know everything about me and talks about me 24/7.

My parents love language was arguing a lot then fucking very loudly.

Moved out at 18 and solved 99% of my issues with them. Put some distance between you and your folks until you need them around for childcare.

My mom does the same thing. Granted she wouldn’t share my medical history or salary, but she talks about me A LOT. I’m generally a more private person and don’t really like to discuss my accomplishments, etc. She does though and I guess it’s relatively harmless for me. Not sure how I’d react if she was sharing medical issues and more private things like salary.

My mom does this too. She shares everything. She is also hard of hearing now and older so her memory is getting bad so the stories get muddled along the way which makes it worse (but also sometimes funny, tbh).

I have an extreme filter for her. I only tell her things that I would tell everyone else in the world. If I would put it on social media, I tell my mom. If not, then I don’t. For people who cannot control their loose lips, this is what you need to do.

Ahhhh, yeah. I would definitely stop those group FaceTime’s. I would just make up something like “we feel like we are missing out on special time with just you, (in-laws), and would like to be able to really focus our conversations with you.” Make it about feeling special with them. Then do same with your mom. Then have nice, friendly conversation with in-laws who don’t overshare and have filtered conversation with your mom.

Your mom doesnt respect your privacy. Thats not a love language and if you’ve already addressed this with no change, Id absolutely limit my contact with her. I do the same with my mother for the same reason and some.

No

Yes. If your parents are bad for you, you owe them a baseline level of respect and appreciation and nothing more.

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