I’m the default parent, the household calendar, the family chef, and somehow still expected to bring my A-game to work. My partner thinks he’s helping, but I’m still managing everything. If you’ve gotten your partner to actually take over full responsibility for stuff, how did you make that happen? What did you say that finally got through?

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We had a “re-org” convo. Like, here’s what’s not working, here’s what I need to step back from, and here’s where you can take over. Framed it like a work project—because that’s what clicked.

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I’m the non default. We read fair play. It helped me see how I needed to be carrying the load a bit more.

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The easiest way I found to get out of managing the process was to say what I'm not going to do.
EX: I am not going to cook on the weekends, all meals our on you on the weekend.

Then peel off additional high-pressure fully encapsulated tasks

For example my husband completely owns ALL washing and assembly of sports uniforms.
these take as long as the rest of our laundry combined because there's lots of scrubbing

If you've ever had a kid realize they are missing a jersey or the random colored socks that go with their uniform or their belt, it can bring a lot of tears and ruin a day.
We don't have that because someone is super tuned in to making sure uniforms are washed laid out and where they need to be

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