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I've heard 25-28% from the likes of Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman. And I think that's an okay place to start, but also consider your personal goals, 5 year plan, etc. When we bought our house, newly married, I knew that when we started having kids, I was hoping to reduce my schedule (and my paycheck). Also knew that we'd have to add in some childcare costs since I did intend to still work. Looking a little farther ahead, I knew I wanted to send my kids to catholic schools, so we decided to stay more conservative. 3 kids later, is our house a little cozy? Yes. But am I super grateful not to be worried about tuition costs and still be able to splurge on some vacations? 100%!
I'd shot for 25%, but mine is 0% because my spouses employer provides our housing so I'm not a good example.
Do you budget closely? We budget closely and that told us exactly what we could afford. Then we had to decide if we wanted to spend the max or use that money elsewhere. We ended up spending the max because I was (still am) expecting big raises and a growing family. We thought the stretch was worth it so we didn’t feel cramped after a couple more kids.
The benchmark percentages are ok as a starting point, but everyone spends differently. We have no student loans, car payments, and generally (aside from the house) spend less than others at our income, so we felt we could afford a larger percentage.
When we bought the house two years ago, house + utilities were 37%. Now it’s 24%.