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Daily Reflections Recurring Post
January 18, 2021
WOULD A DRINK HELP?
By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23
Click link for today’s full reading: https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection
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Honestly it's so nerve-wracking but also well worth it if your sponsor isn't fulfilling your needs. I was stuck with a crap sponsor who treated me like an afterthought and I gtfo as soon as I could, request was also immediately granted. Now my sponsor and I have been working together for almost 2 years and I love her to death, we click really well and it's done wonders for my sobriety and my life in general. Good for you for advocating for yourself.
Pro
I did the same a few months ago, and every interaction with my former sponsor since then affirms that I did the right thing (we still attend the same weekly meeting). I heard at a retreat earlier in the year that we all share the same message, but in different dialects, and that we need to have a sponsor that speaks the same language. That has stuck with me. My old sponsor is still working with 6 or 7 guys, some he's worked with for years, so I can't say that he's a bad sponsor. I get along with my new sponsor famously, and we are based in the book every conversation, so I can be pretty sure that I am still doing my best as a sponsee, and not just running away from what's being suggested.
Good luck on your journey, OP, stsy honest, open mindedand willing. As the saying goes: "A good sponsor can't keep you sober, and a bad sponsor can't get you drunk."
Rising Star
Thank you. "speaking the same language" was one of two main reasons. Schedule challenges was the other. And same that I've got nothing bad to say about my old sponsor
Good for you OP. At the end of the day you have to do what is best for you and I know that is not always easy. I would have been really nervous about this as well but you did what needed to be done.
Good for you! I got a new sponsor at about 1 month sober and it was 100% the right choice for me. My 1st sponsor was more a drug addict than alcoholic and I could not at all relate to the stories about crack, though I learned a great appreciation for the 12 traditions — AA is for alcoholics. I'm sure my 1st sponsor would make a great sponsor at NA and wish them the very best.
"Every sponsor is a temporary sponsor". This idea helped lighten up the decision for me and allowed me to find a new sponsor without guilt, fear, or a draining thought spiral that led to inaction. It might be that "firing" your sponsor will be the best thing for her/him too, but I suppose it's not up to us to worry about that. Keep at it, friend!