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Spend some time on some other threads. We are a very strong and inclusive group - your reasons are your reasons and you will find a lot of love and support here. I grieved the death of my using persona harder than I've greived anything in my life. So be kind to yourself in your early stages and remember this is a process. Sobriety is a gift many will never give themselves. Good for you - and keep it up! There are some great sobriety apps that send enouraging messages and celebrate your milestones. ♥️
Bowl Leader
This resonates so much. I lost my dad in a car accident a month before I got sober, and I realized at one point I was grieving both the loss of my father and the loss of alcohol.
Bowl Leader
Tell us how you did it!
I got sober at 34, and like you, had only ever gone a full week sober a handful of times, and I can only remember once where I made it through two weekends in a row without a drink.
I know now that I could never stay sober on my own will power. Through some miracle I found AA, stuck with it (even though it’s super uncomfortable at first), and have over 4 years sober now.
It doesn’t have to be intertwined into your social life. I regularly attend happy hours and dinners etc just ordering topo chico. Don’t hide it by ordering a soda water on the rocks etc.
This is a big difference between my 20’s and 30’s. Idgaf what anyone cares of me not drinking now. All i say is “it’s better for me personally when I don’t drink. Nothing against anyone who does!”
So this works for me buuttt I’m a little combative so your mileage may vary haha. I just order whatever I want… very often people make comments and I just don’t shy away. I say thing like, “I’m getting older and alcohol makes me feel like shit. Decided to care more about that than the booze.” It’s not ever meant to be starting a fight but I just don’t remotely try to hide it. I’ve found hiding it to be very mentally taxing.
Congratulations to you. Such an accomplishment! Starting is the most difficult part. Took about 4 months for my withdrawals to subside (restless legs were the worst). I think back on that time and have no idea where I got the strength to stick it out cold turkey. Then I remember all the barriers I created myself. I got close to family, started a strict IOP and regularly attended meetings. From my experience, I created a reality where I put deterrents at every corner so it wasn’t an option. All of my closest friends became guys all in the same spot doing the right thing. I went on countless work related trips where alcohol was a highlight for many. Many of these places I went, I found a meeting even or stayed in touch with people back home. I wanted better and I wanted a new life. Putting in the work in the beginning really set me off to creating a better life. I’ve been promoted a number of times, got married, bought a home & welcomed a baby boy into the world. Just celebrated 8 years a week before my boys first birthday. Now, all of this means even more. Also for me, hobbies were key. I got clean and swapped addictions to food. Got up to 280lbs. I found fitness and dropped 100 lbs and got really into fishing. Idle hands and an idle mind are dangerous.
Thank you for sharing!
I got sober at 34. I started trying to get sober at 30. I would have promised you it wasn’t possible. And yet it is, but only one day at a time. We’re here for you. If you ever need to chat, dm me. F,38.
Thank you friend.
Enthusiast
I am about 4 months in and I quickly shifted from my colleagues saying “oh you’re not drinking tonight? Why?” To, they now know I don’t drink and don’t even ask why or offer me a drink. It was challenging, the social pressure right at the beginning and now I just don’t drink and it’s fine at work sessions and parties.
Just wanted to share that, good luck!
Bowl Leader
So glad you shared! It’s a good reminder of how daunting it can be up front.
On one of my last consulting projects I had a really funny experience. I had quit drinking maybe 6 months prior, and the client had taken us to dinner a few times and of course I declined any wine or cocktails. I was a little self conscious, but I was committed to sobriety. The last meal we did was a much larger audience, and when the waiter came around to ask about drinks and when they got to me the client actually piped up on my behalf and said, “oh he doesn’t drink”. I thought it was awesome that they did that. I love being “the guy who doesn’t drink” instead of the guy who has to apologize for my drinking the next day.
2 weeks now! Thanks everyone for the encouragement. 😃
Never felt better.
Bowl Leader
Heck yeah! 1 day at a time.
Congratulations. It's rough in the beginning but once the withdrawal is done it gets easier. I just got through my first year and I'm 30 as well. Each day of work will stack up in reward.
Beginning the journey of recovery is the most difficult awesome thing you will ever do. Over time, one day at a time, you can change and be the person you are meant to be. Today I do not NEED to drink for any reason. Find a group of people committed to growing together in sobriety and the desire to use will go away. I found the self that was covered by my addiction to drugs and alcohol through the fellowship of AA. celebrating 39 years next month.
Congratulations! 1 week is a big deal. Being sober is truly amazing once you figure out how to navigate it. Please keep coming here as we are all here to support you.
Thank you friend.
Congratulations. It has been almost 4 years sober and there are stressful days when my thoughts wander back to drinking. It was a habit for me so one just replaces with another habit. Over time you will get more days a s think about it less but focus on how you feel now and stay positive. While I am 99% certain you won't drink again. If you do have a lapse don't beat yourself up with a bat but use a feather. Keep your head up
Thanks friend 🙏🏼😁
Congrats on your achievement. That is a long time to go between cocktails for an alcoholic.
For me sobriety gets both harder and easier over time. When I admit that I am an alcoholic as described in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and therefore I am powerless over alcohol, I have a pretty good chance of picking up another 24 hours sober. However when I think I have this addiction think whipped and under control it gets really hard, and I move closer to my next blackout.
Your story reminds me of my "ghost of alcoholics past and ghost of alcoholics present" I have relived so many memories where my brain has removed the distorted reality I saw when I was drinking. You see how shit actually played out versus how you remembered them. It's deeply painful but I'd rather live in unaltered reality. You might be asking what about ghost of alcoholics future? We fight every day to keep that ghost out of the picture 😉