My company offers 6 months paid maternity leave. I am a FTM and work fully remote. I am debating whether I should consider only taking 4 or 5 months leave or the full 6 months. I want to demonstrate I am dedicated to my job and try to preserve my position and standing at the company but also ensure that I am doing what is right for my baby. Has anyone opted to take less than the paid parental leave offered by your employer? Do you feel like it had a positive impact on your career and baby?

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Is this even a question? Take the entire time. You are so lucky to have this. You won’t ever have this time back. At the end of your life you won’t wondering if you showed enough dedication to an employer but instead will regret not giving more time.

Also you never know what kind of baby you’ll get and going back to work with a baby that doesn’t sleep like mine at 4 months was torture. Take the time.

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Keeping your job could very well benefit your child over the long-term much more than an extra couple of months at home. So yes, don’t be rude about it

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You will regret not taking the full 6 months. I think it is hard to conceptualize now since the baby isn’t here yet, but your entire mindset and world will change. You worked hard for your career, but you would set the world on fire if you needed to for your kid. That time will be so important for you and your family.

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Never take less. You only get this time once. Work is always there. If they discount you for taking the full time leave.

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Omg whyyyyyyyy what has our society done to women to brainwash us like this?!? Take every last second of your leave! You deserve it. You need it. And we are the only developed country on earth that thinks this backwards about having kids!

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No no no. Take the full leave. Do not short change yourself.

Everyone should take the full leave to which they are entitled (yep, paternity leave too). It is how we ensure there is no “respect gap” for taking leave. And if they respect you less for taking full leave? Find a new job because that’s a 💩 company to work for.

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Take the full leave. My last 2 employers had relatively awful leave policies so I asked for approval to take more time albeit unpaid. Even those employers didn't fault me for taking more time. They were glad to have me back at a time when I felt physically and mentally ready to get back to work.

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Your pay takes into account all your benefits, including maternity leave. If you don’t take it all the only person you’re hurting is yourself. If they wanted you to take less time they’d limit it accordingly. Use your benefits. ALL OF THEM. They’re there for a reason.

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Take 6!

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Please take the entire leave, if not for yourself, then for the sake of people who come after you who will feel pressured by the precedent you set to take less than they are entitled. There are other ways to signal your dedication and commitment that do not involve shortchanging both yourself and everyone else.

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There is also a possibility that some folks will judge you not taking the full leave. I would. So not taking the full leave may not even signal what you’re thinking it might, in which case you’re shortchanging yourself and your family for literally no reason.

Once you’re already out on leave the extra couple of months doesn’t make a huge difference to the company

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This. Take the time.

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I get this line of thought having also been raised in this culture but I’d gently suggest looking at what your asking: should I sacrifice time I’m entitled to with my family to appear more dedicated at my job? Why would this show you’re dedicated?

Show your dedication by setting your team up for success while you’re out and having a good coverage plan. Then delete Outlook for 6 months and enjoy the time as a new family.

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Take the full time. I got pregnant 4 months in at a new firm and took the entire 6. Nobody said a thing or treated me differently. In my opinion, month 4-6 postpartum are great because you start to see your baby’s personality and finally start feeling a bit more like yourself. Please please take this time and don’t regret it one bit.

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Your baby may not start to sleep through the night until 6 months anyway- so do you really want to try to work full time while also being up all night? I have to do this now, because my baby is 5 months but I don’t have as long of a leave so I’m back at work. I sleep about 3 hours per night- and then work all day like everybody else at my firm, pretending I’m on equal footing with my peers when I’m clearly disadvantaged by sleep deprivation- and it’s miserable. I would never choose to be working 5 months postpartum if I had the option otherwise.

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My baby is almost 14 months and I still have not slept through the night. It’s getting better but my sleep is still broken up.

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Take the full time. As others have said, you never get this time back, transitioning to parenthood is HARD, and if your firm offers it, there’s an understanding that you’re going to use it. I got 4 months which felt like a gift but it was still not enough time and the transition back was really hard. But NO ONE gave me grief for the full time. Men at my firm also get the same time and no one gives them trouble for it either. If someone DOES have an issue, that’s a them problem.

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Take 6 months without question. You will get zero credit or props for coming back early. No one will notice or remember.

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Just wanted to say that I don’t think you’re a bad FTM or crazy for thinking this. I worked the day I gave birth and the first week PP for similar reasons. It’s also okay not to want to jeopardize your career trajectory or lose pieces of yourself. But I think it’s likely that once you’re truly PP, you’ll feel differently. I’d plan to take the full 6 months, and if things are going great, then you can always reach out to the firm to let them know you’d like to come back early. I think it’s probably easier to ask for leave and come back early then ask for less and then try to figure out how to get more, especially if you are struggling with being a FTM or if your baby needs extra care for whatever reason. Also your leave also doesn’t have to be entirely unproductive work wise. You could use this time to network, especially in local mom groups.

Also a firm that offers 6 months leave and then faults you for taking it is probably not the best place to be a working mom. Have you talked to other people at the firm who have taken the full leave? They’ll probably have the most insight.

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Never take less. I took 12 weeks could’ve taken more and I was not ready to return. Kicking myself

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What company offers 6 months? because I want to apply!

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