Question: since August last year, the same recruiter at a mid-size agency has asked me about freelance gigs maybe 4 or 5 times......continued:

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I haven’t freelanced in a few years but being on the other side I can tell you this isn’t all that unusual. A lot of times when a freelancer is called in, it’s the agency eating the costs not the client so it can be hot/cold a lot of times. If they come to you again just be honest and say you’ve put a lot of time into this previously to end up with nothing. Ask for the likelihood it will come to fruition or do minimal work to submit. Shoe on the other foot, they’d do the same thing.

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This sounds emotionally exhausting, but also not sure how you're spending time negotiating rates and dates. Commit to a day rate and offer them a hold if you're available. Then stop thinking about it.

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Every time, we get to negotiating a fee and confirming that I’m available for the dates.

Yet, every time - so far - she has come back to me to say that the gig went to someone else or that the gig is pulled or whatever.

Question 1: Do anyone else experience this regularly?

Question 2: how many times do you allow yourself to get burned by the same agency/recruiter before you stop engaging? (I have not yet worked with them, but have spent an awful lot of time and energy dancing around, negotiating fees and confirming dates, always with the same result in the end).

I’m trying to understand the dynamics at play here. Am I just their emergency backup?
If so, some honesty about that would make it easier to deal with!

The recruiter likes you and is trying to sell you in. That’s a good thing. Having conversations and getting ‘burned’ is just part of freelance. No negotiation is finished until the contract is signed.

Not that unusual. I’ve been dealing with a place for a year now - I just don’t assume any freelance booking is actually happening until I’m there.

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