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And you - who I'm assuming, are a *successful* man - didn't go into this with any expectation, right?
Starts that way and after a few rejections they keep adjusting their expectations till demand meets supply.
This makes sense. Thanks for sharing!
Pro
🐱privilege!
How is this 🐈 privilege?
Sorry to hear about your experience OP!
I agree with EY1.
Also, this is inherent in that model. People have to use the limited information that is available— height, looks, education, income. Information that is more valuable— personality, intelligence, integrity are harder to glean so are generally not accounted for.
As for expectations— who thinks they don’t deserve the best? It’s got nothing to do with gender.
If you aren’t 6’+, don’t look like a movie star, don’t make a ton of money, or come from a super affluent family— all of which are the luck of the draw, you may have better luck finding someone in your social circle. At least there, people will have the chance to get to know the real you, and value you for who you are.
Good luck!
This is excellent advice! Makes complete sense. I appreciate it.
Yeah because the assumption is that women will prob have to take 1-2 years off if they want kids. If you want kids and you want your wife to stay home (and not pay for childcare), then you need to be able to provide on a single income…
Arranged marriage has always been transactional in nature. Typically in the Indian context, women were SAHM and men were the breadwinners. So their criteria were molded - women looked for security/ money/ comfort, men were partial to beauty/ submissiveness.
In the US, it’s a completely different ballgame. Criteria are still prioritized similarity, however women, now with more independence/ social awareness, added things like looks, modern outlook, relationship equality to the mix. Their income levels may not have risen commensurately, however there social awareness is much more because of social
media, internet, etc. On the other hand, some men have added education/ income as a criteria for the would-be partners. Both sides have upped standards which sometimes become unrealistic. But like someone else said, ultimately demand has to match supply in this case.
Conversation Starter
Demand - Supply game. Too many men out there with successful careers and great personalities but unfortunately there are not enough women due to social/economical reasons.
It inflates the expectations and ego, distorts the equation in relationships. Imagine their life after marriage - different mindset for money/career/spending. I am 30 and have seen my friends struggle with this. Not sure if gets better or worse with time.
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Can you explain your point? The OP just provided his experience which is aligned with everyone else