What are your thoughts on open relationships? I’ve never been in one. The idea itself of not having sex with the same person for the rest of your life I get. But in reality I just don’t know if I can do it personally. Anybody else struggle with this? I feel like most of the community wants open and I just don’t know if I’ll ever get there. And I feel like it limits your (already small) dating pool. Not suggesting I change just to be in a relationship, I just struggle with the whole thing. Sigh

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I've been openly poly for about two years, have multiple partners and do just fine. I guess it limits your pool in one sense, but also the dating pool doesn't drain as fast so it kind of evens out? It's definitely led me and my partners to all embrace active communication skills, and a large part of it involves unlearing some kind of toxic monogamous ideas about ownership of your partners, how to communicate, how to handle jealousy and insecurity, etc.

But also--like. Don't force yourself to do it if it isn't actually something you actively want to do. It's not for everyone and it's toxic to assume it is.

like

I meant not wanting an open relationship limits your dating pool. Thanks for the response! I agree, I don’t want to force myself to do it. I think there’s a lot of stuff I would need to work on individually before being open. In no way do I think you can only be attracted to one person / not want to sleep with other people, I just think me personally would need a lot of ground rules for it to work and some people that want an open relationship might not want that level of rules

Seems to be a gay guy thing and not prevalent at all for Lesbians.

like

I can’t tell from this post if you’re single or not, but, it took me years of being in a monogamous relationship to understand the complexities behind an open relationship. If you asked be 5 years ago if I’d be in one, my viewpoint would of sounded a lot like yours. Also, there are so many different types of open relationships or “rules”. I will say, most relationships I see start on an open basis do not tend to workout. But that’s just from what I have seen.

My experience is similar to KPMG 1 as well. When I first started dating I was 100% against it and after 3 years of dating monogamously, my partner and I would just make slight jokes about having sex with other guys. It eventually/organically came to be that we are now open. However, the main rule we have is essentially, is that the sex has to happen organically aka we’re not on dating apps looking for have sex but if we’re out in the club or at a party and get drunk and there’s a guy thats cute etc…

To KPMG 1 point as well, it did take some time for us to get here and we didn’t start out with it. My husband and I have will be together for 7 years next month (2 years married)!

like

I am in an open relationship and it’s works fine. You need to set clear rules and expectations. Communication is key too.

My relationship sort of developed into an open relationship. It wasn’t really planned. I would say many of the guys I regularly meet with are married (to women) who need an outlet. So they aren’t a “threat” to my partner because I won’t be leaving him for a married guy.

It all depends on how comfortable and secure you and your partner are in the relationship. When it comes to an open relationship, I agree that you and your partner will have sex/romantic relationship with someone else while still being in love with each other. But imagine he’s going on dates and having fun with dudes almost every night of the week, though he is still nice and loving to you during the day or whenever you’re together; however, you couldn’t find anyone to do the same while he’s gone, or vice versa. How would you feel in that situation? If you feel like “oh great! I get to stay home and have all the space for myself”, then great. But sometimes as a human being, you might feel “oh he is going out and having/sex while I’m here doing nothing but watching the same show all over”. You might do things that you shouldn’t like desperately chasing a guy to have him go out with you to do the same thing as your partner and to fill the void, but ignore the fact that he is manipulative and just wanna take advantage of you. That might not be ideal since we all know the dating market is a hit or miss. All I’m saying is if you and your partner are open minded enough to share the love and the sex with someone else, you’re both secure enough and want to open your relationship, then do it!

But if that is not the case, and you both just don’t wanna share the other person with someone else or not secure enough, then maybe just take it slow. Perhaps not an open relationship yet, but maybe just invite another guy or other guys to come over and and have a threesome or even four just to try new things. This is something when you and your partner are both involved. This is to test the water to see how you and your partner feel. Ultimately, just to reach the level when you’re both the most comfortable and enjoyable.

Don’t feel like most of the community wants to open and you should too since not most of them wants to open, just the ones who are in an open relationship tend to preach about it more so it feels like everyone in the community is in an open relationship but it’s really not true. Good luck tho!! 🙂

Related Posts

Turning networking on in this bowl indicates you are single and open to DMs

like

How many dates do you give someone if you don’t feel a “spark” in the first 1-2 dates but genuinely enjoy their company (I.e. talking and learning about them etc)?

like

Question that could belong here or in the Relationships bowl:

How do women prefer to be turned down if the guy they’re pursuing is not interested. I know men have the capacity to deal with rejection poorly, and I’m not suggesting otherwise. But in my anecdotal experience , women take the gentle “no thanks, not interested” poorly.

likesmartfunny

Any F fishes down to grab a drink? 25 M

like

Any single females want to grab drinks/dinner in the city?
28M for reference!

likefunnysmart

I've been single forever and have not been with someone in years. I'm getting so desperate that I have thought about hooking up with my associate...often

likefunnysmart

Amy tips on finding a soulmate? tried a lot of matrimonial sites nothing is working because noone can put up with consulting life style 😔

Has anyone had any luck with the apps? Still not finding it easy to meet in RL, so resorting to apps but I know they have a rough track record. Any recommendations?

like

Have someone ever found a date on Fishbowl ? Is Anyone up for a conversation? I'm straight boii.

likefunny

Anyone squadding up on here? Girlfriend is out tonight and my usual lads i play with are out

"she doesn't have good boobs" †
👀

likefunny

Started talking to this guy through group a group telegram and one day he offered to pay for my lunch as I had helped him out with something. Since then he has been offering to pay for my dinners, salon visits, shopping etc and I have accepted 3-4 times. I am in a steady relationship and my boyfriend doesn’t know about this. The other guy just says he likes paying for my stuff and there’s no agenda. Is this a little weird?

funny

Single 29 M. Any single female from Kolkata?

Could anyone suggest a good ladies pg in Marathalli area? Preferably single sharing or double.

like

Hey

Male here,

Anyone up for weekend catchup and drive ...female preferred ;)

like

Matched with a guy on Tinder. Had a great first date. We are stilling chatting on WhatsApp. But he has disappeared from my tinder (presumably, he unmatched with me). Is it typical for ppl to unmatch on Tinder when they are still interested in you?

like

Have a crush on my co-worker. He asked me out to go rock climbing one-on-one after we were texting for a while and I acted awkwardly when we went because I didn’t know if it was a date (nothing was explicitly said). Now I’m stuck in this weird limbo state where things have fizzled out but I’m re-reading texts and think he might’ve actually had a crush too and I pushed him away. Ambiguity sucks.

like

What are some of the cringiest/funniest things you’ve seen on a dating profile?

I kiss my kitty so much, I often find my mouth full of his hair. I wonder if it could lead to hairballs? But look at this face and tell me how I can NOT kiss him! LOL

Post Photo
likefunny

Unpopular opinion:
Don't understand what people are loving about Indian Matchmaking
I do not find it hilarious and do not find Nadia adorable 🙄

like

More Posts

Anyone hiring for RPA roles in your company ?

like

I’m currently Working in Healthcare IT as a Project Manager. Thinking of transitioning into healthcare consulting. What are your tips on this with regards to companies, options and challenges

like

Anybody here who gave interview for senior business analyst role in IQVIA?

like
like

Hii...i had my Director round in EY for cybersecurity. HR send me pre offer form to fill the details.
How long it does take to have offer letter in EY

like

#HiringAlert #CA #GAAPConversion #TechnicalAccounting

EY GDS Hiring CA's for Assurance Financial Accounting Advisory Services (FAAS) Senior FSO with 1-4 yrs of experience in Bengaluru, KA.

Skills : GAAP Conversion, IFRS Implementation, Ind AS Conversion, IPO readiness/assistance, M&A restructuring, Remediation, Technical Accounting.

Click the link below for more details.
DM for more info.


https://www.linkedin.com/posts/farbany_assurance-faas-senior-fso-cas-with-1-4-activity-6947051292808605696-

like

What are the exit opportunities for digital consulting if product management recruiting doesnt go well?

like

Is anyone going through the international mobility program to to transfer to Canada?
Apply through global skills strategy

like

Alternatives to The Hate U Give that still has a #blacklivesmatter theme?

like

There are two types of people. Those who drop superstore and the ones who are cowards.

likefunny

Slow meteor shower + Celeste + Free DIYs along beach!

Dodo code: MK9FQ

Island will be open for the next hour or so.

like

I’m a Canadian working in the US at small consulting firm (4yrs). Thinking of moving to London under the Youth Mobility Scheme. Looking for a firm with decent work-life balance - any recommendations?

like

Hi All,

I received a temporary employment contract from a very reputed company in Dubai based on my previous association with them.

I know only limited contract or an unlimited contract. What is this temporary employment contract? Can someone help me?

like

For those who have to report on financial performance regularly to either the CFO or related execs: how do you get past the nerves? Honestly my work culture is super chill but I still get anxiety.

like

So I have family situation I've been dealing with and yesterday at a company function outside the office, my supervisor brought it up in front of a bunch of people. First of all highly inappropriate, but also it's nobody's business. She's made comments before outside of work about how her boss is gay, blah blah blah. I'm just at a loss. Should I report it to HR? And if I do, how do I do it without it being known that it came from me??

like

Hi fishes, need urgent advice. How is the HDFC Index Sensex Plan? I have invested 75K but it's in loss as all others. Should I continue to average it out or stop investing in it? The loss is higher in this compared to other funds.

like

I'm wondering what everyone thinks about layoffs in recruiting?

like

Where the PROs at? What other bowls are you all in? I will go first: consulting bowl and consulting memes.

like

I've been biking to my home office everyday so I've been wearing gym clothes and bringing a change of clothes with me. When I get in the morning how long can I sit at my desk before going to change?

like

Additional Posts in LGBT Accountants

Thinking about starting an OF... since we aren’t getting raises this year. In all seriousness, I like being watched. But I’m too afraid to be found and get fired. My husband has a job now so maybe I can finally live my dream. Thoughts?

like

Is selling feet pics an unethical side hustle?

likefunny

Any EY new managers going to be in Orlando?

Why don’t some big fours participate in Chicago’s pride? I’ve seen Deloitte but not EY.

like

What's everyone's Halloween costume?

How did you get the courage to come out? I’m too scared

like

Anyone going to the ALPFA conference in Vegas that would like to meet up?

Any guys in nyc?

like

Happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈

like

What are some profesional LGBT groups to join? For networking and professional development.

like

Financial services is still a pretty male dominated industry, and the LGBT community within it is no exception.

With that said, any women in this group?

🙋‍♀️ #lesbian

like

Wash DC here

like

I’ve just started to put my pronouns in my email signature and it sparked a great discussion with members of our team regarding the importance of making it a regular thing for everyone. :)

like

hows everyone doing?

like

For smaller firms without published policies, how do you figure out in an interview what would be their attitudes toward LGBT employees? Aside from legal protection.

like

Greetings from ATL

like

Anyone bi here? 35/m

like

So without getting hate mail... I’m a gay man in a very gay-friendly office, but find that there is no ‘right’ time to bring it up. No one on my team talks about relationships, but sometimes I (contd)

like

I know a lot of firms have strong LGBT groups, and I'm definitely not saying it's the same, but any idea how poly people are treated or if you've even seen anyone out about it?

Hooked up with a manager form different line of service and now I came to know he is joining my team.

likefunny

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal