33 years old in a sexless marriage. My husband has ED and refuses to do anything about it. My self esteem is destroyed.

likefunny
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Are you overweight?

funnylikesmart

I think we know the answer. Either way stop weighing her down

God bless your DMs

funnylike
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The ONLY word that matters in what OP wrote was “refuses”. We all face problems during our relationships. Refusing to address them is incredibly selfish and shows disregard for the marriage. The issue in this case isn’t the real issue at all.

OP, I can’t assume I understand anything but, if he really “refuses”, an ultimatum is needed and it’s not for an ED doctor. It’s for couples counseling.

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A good sex therapist could help them both. Usually stems from feeling safe in a relationship. Curious since they are married, this wasn’t a problem before marriage??

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DM if you wanna be treated right!

funnylike
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D1 a control issue for me? Huh?

For saying I wouldn't want to be in a sexless marriage or have erectile dysfunction? That's an abnormal take?

Have you tried therapy? If he won’t attend couples therapy, go on your own so you can figure out if this is a deal breaker for you or not.

likesmart

Is your husband physically active or a fat couch potato?

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Can you open your marriage?

likehelpful

His thing isn’t just a machine and doesn’t work on command. Can shame him but god forbid a woman can’t reach an orgasm and something is said? What’s the extent of his ED? Recommend getting the audio book and listening together or booking him an appointment with this author/sex therapist https://www.amazon.com/Love-Worth-Making-Ridiculously-Long-Lasting/dp/1250113113?dplnkId=a5223626-e3f2-4bbc-a03f-8d26eaf6ec70&nodl=1

likefunny

My wife has a sex drive issue also. And refuses to do anything about it, also. Sorry. I know what you’re going through.

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Again, the real problem you must address is the word “refuses”. Also sexual intimacy or the lack thereof is MUCH more often a symptom of other issues.

likesmart

I don't get your thought process though.... if he has ED, what does it have to do with you. Why would you let your self confidence get involved? You need to help him get treatment!!!

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Yeah because that's literally so embarrassing for most men

1) these DMs are gross 2) its always been kind of an issue but were trying to have a child and it makes it extra brutal

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I am commenting so you will know that not everyone is gross . I understand and I wish for the best for you. Ignore these rude posts, wow.

Cialis is incredible. Five stars

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Uh oh
So sorry you have to deal with that. Medication? Counseling? What has been tried?

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You know that doesn’t magically cure it or work for everyone, right?

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Has it been this way since the beginning or new issue ?

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🤷‍♀️ I guess it doesn’t matter but if new issue keep encouraging him to talk to a doctor show him feeds where lots of men talk about having this issue

Also I don’t blame you for walking alway from this if you’ve exhausted all options. I had an ex boyfriend refuse to talk to a doctor or do anything about it. I was over it

Perhaps you could imagine where his self esteem is at. Yeah,yeah you got needs. Imagine yourself taking a medication that completely depletes your interest,or that you need to get a medication to fix that particular issue. Yeah, imagine that conversation. Also imagine he might be turned off by someone who would discuss that here.

smart

Is he totally unable? or doesn't last ? or can only do it in certain position?

I worry this will be me. My bf has the same issue. I’m a bit younger than you, and he’s an older man than I am but is somehow also very inexperienced? I found that shocking as with his demeanor I was expecting someone more confident and in charge. He never asks for it or even hints at wanting it. We dated and had been exclusive for months before we finally did. I practically have to start and do everything while he sits there looking terrified like it’s his first time or him awkwardly standing in a corner. His explanation was simply, “I have other interests. That’s not something that’s on my mind all day, which you’ll find as you get older.” He once admitted that women frequently leave him after they finally do the act, and I didn’t get why before. I assumed it was because he got clingy or maybe had some kind of sweating issue or something else. Nope.

I find he avoids coming over and leaves early or goes to sleep early just to avoid being asked, as he can’t do the act. I sometimes wonder if he’s just not attracted to me, but we get stares when we’re out in public, he frequently tells me I’m beautiful, I get hit on a good deal, and other women have stopped me in public to tell me I’m pretty and compliment me on my outfits including in front of him. Doesn’t mean that I may not be his type. Idk what to do because he insists he doesn’t need “the little blue pill” and brags about it but he clearly does or has some kind of anxiety issue he needs to get therapy for. His ego is too sensitive to discuss it. I can give him feedback on any other area in our relationship with that I’m not happy with and he takes it in stride and fixes it without any fuss but this is the one area. It’s not even just the ED but the inexperience, avoiding the act, and the little interest in even trying. He was talking about marriage and kids but (1) I don’t get how kids are possible this way and (2) idk if I want to deal with this the rest of my (well realistically his) life as he’s not even trying to improve

He has a book too, useful for both people in the relationship

Did he have ED prior to the marriage?

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