Been with PwC for 1.5 years.
Have thought of killing myself for 1.5 years.
I know it's not a me problem since I don't feel this way when I'm on a long leave or away from work. I don't mind the long hours but I just can't seem to stand audit itself and I can't find a better place to pivot to for now. What should I do?

likehelpful
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Go on leave. You can get a new job, you can’t get a physical new life.

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Your job is never worth your life!
I found myself in a similar situation a few years back. I’m at a different company now and thriving. The thought of suicide didn’t even cross my mind once. You can get out of this and it will be much better I promise you. 🤗

likesmart

Yeah I second the first commenter, go on leave and apply like crazy to something else and if it comes down to it it wouldn't be totally wild to just quit. I hope you find something soon!

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Four men- FOUR- from my starting class at PwC are now nurses.

I spun out to industry, which is way easier. But my point is- if you don’t like your situation, change it. And you are certainly not alone and not wrong in your perspective for how bad it can be.

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Keep your head up Fam. Don't allow anyone or anything to have power/control over your mind. The pain of dealing with them is temporary but after you overcome, it produces lifelong character.
No job is worth your life unless you sign up for that at the gate (Public/Military Service), even then you can pivot as you mentioned.
Keep looking for a new place to pivot and keep networking. The best place for you could end up being something you don't expect or see coming. Kind of like how the best significant others are usually found.

likesmart

I totally understand what you’re saying. I did IT audit for 2+ years and hated it. It’s a brain rot, but, as others have said, you can take a break for a bit to reset and find what you’d like to do instead. And when you do, I hope it brings you comfort and opportunity to live your best life.

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Get a better job-one where you feel appreciated. They are out there. Just don’t quit this place until you have a new one lined up

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Start looking for another job. In the meantime, get therapy. Maybe company covers it. Pray, surround yourself with people that support you.

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I hope you’re OK. Let us know you’re doing OK.

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