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give this man a raise.
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I do choose my words carefully. Radical candor helped me with this and knowing what to say and how to say it. It’s a practice
I think a mindset shift from “disciplining subordinates “ to “coaching my team” would set a better tone and probably have better results.
It also depends on the team member. Different people accept criticism differently, I always try to approach in a method that will be received well. Direct and clear but kind.
I prefer to be managed with straight talk and clear expectations. That way I can be empowered to do my job and be left alone. When disciplining a subordinate, have you tried the “sh*@ sandwich” method? Basically it’s this: what’s going well, actionable and constructive feedback, then end on a positive note.
People hate the sandwich. Please stop doing this. It renders the positive feedback disingenuous.
I do not discipline my subordinates. My goal is to develop them so that they can grow, not punish them. So absolutely yes, I monitor my tone when delivering feedback that isn’t positive. The men you work with are just not good leaders.
I agree with this. My goal is to develop and coach and make it a collaborative method instead of “disciplinary.”
Gosh you must have had bad bosses. You sound like an abused child who wants to beat up the other kids on the playground. Mind shift is necessary here, as these subordinates are not your children. You shouldn’t be this angry (that’s how your post is coming off).
You set clear expectations, when they aren’t met you can simply ask why, note that you’d like to see better. If better doesn’t come then they get a formal write-up, and possibly fired. It’s all very un-emotional. Try to find a few “canned” responses for when someone isn’t performing well that you can use to take the emotion out of it.
100%. We all are adults so we need to behave and treat others like adults.
Never had to discipline any of my subordinates in 28 years.
I've worked through several challenges along with them and we were both better for it .
I recommend looking into servant leadership books/courses.
You’ve never had to write up a subordinate ever?
Disciplining subordinates? What???
I take it she is in a production environment where sometimes if employees are not producing they have to managed out the business
I use my words carefully always. I prefer it as my goal isn’t to hurt but to be empathetic and help/coach. I also try to stay firm and consistent in my messaging. However, I have also had instances of male DR not being open to coaching.
I suspect so. But who knows , we are all susceptible to bias.
I don’t feel like I have to, I do it because the end intent is better work and better employee. I don’t mess around with sugary and coddling but I’m human and so are they.
^This. I am always direct but there is no reason to be unkind.
Just because the men at your company are assholes doesn’t mean you should be one too. It’s good that you’re choosing your language carefully. Everyone should do so.
I don’t discipline, I provide coaching
As a bw, I need to temper my tone at all times - especially during those times and it’s exhausting
Agreed. Coaching can often be thought of as discipline, with poor performers. Worse, sometimes they don’t even realize their behavior needs to change. So messaging fall in deaf ears and there is a finite amount of patience in each of us.
'When disciplining subordinate' lol...what century are you in? How about 'when providing constructive feedback'.
Different companies and different businesses call it different things I guess it’s called discipline where I am at … which is a production environment that is baragained for.. if your managing people that are not performing well we call it discipline or more recently corrective action. Ie a write up /performance plan
My manager once told me, we aren’t brain surgeons, it’s all pluses and minuses and math.. nothing is that serious and I think that’s beautiful because it allows me to feel safe about making mistakes and learning from them.
Of course, you can be candid but be caring while you’re at it. Especially if you’re a newer leader. Remember you cannot afford to have an off or bad day.
CMC 1, you can provide constructive feedback all you want in some cases and there is no movement from the employee. You must go to corrective action. If you do not, then your ass is the one on the line.
Anyone who has led people for over 25 years and never put a subordinate on any kind of corrective action is an absolute anomaly. I was in leadership for close to 20 years. I couldn’t tell you the numbers, probably had to terminate five, had to correct, with corrective action, probably upwards of 20. But over those years, I led hundreds of people on dozens of teams. If you don’t put out disciplinary action when it’s needed, you’re not doing your job.
Yes, even more so as a woman of color.
Yes, we have too, unfortunately work place still not treating with equality… if men come across strong & aggressive, it’s said he it’s just an alpha lead & not afraid to speak his mind to show results, but if a woman does or use same words of tone, we are emotional, mean or hysterical, I seeing it a few times on different concepts, I feel we aren’t evolving enough on this matter! My humble opinion
Nope, because men don’t. I back up what I say with data. That’s key.
So, unpopular opinion maybe but, I have always coached and had an empathetic approach and it has ABSOLUTELY kicked me in the ass with one of my male DR.
My personal experience (and probably bias) is that women tend to want to be molded/developed and men need a very direct approach otherwise they either a. just don’t get it, thus are never accountable or b. they start to get defensive when you finally have to give direct feedback.
If you are providing discipline, I suggest you role play the conversation with a manager peer and take notes.
Also script it.
If it is super serious, run through it with HR.
After your conversation, summarize via email with next steps and expectations. If they have dismissed you in the past, this is a solid way to show you are serious with the electronic history. Ask them to respond with any questions or concerns if not on the same page. Silence is acceptance. If they are not on the same page, schedule additional time and maybe ask to include HR so they can summarize. Including HR is not a threat. It is to keep both of you accountable to avoid further issues and make sure you also do not have any hidden bias.
I know this seems basic, but I have managed high conflict employees, so this has been learned experience that I try to share.