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I feel you. What outcome or resolution would you have liked instead? The one where no one got hurt and you didn’t think about it years later? I think we can be kind to ourselves and realize we do our best given the skills and knowledge and capacity we have atm, and the rest is out of our control. It’s interesting that you use words like right and wrong, and it makes me wonder about your enneagram. Hehe.. I try to replace words like right and wrong or good and bad with healthy unhealthy or helpful unhelpful… I feel like it’s more gracious and clarifying. And people can be hurt for so many reasons, but at the end of the day if you gave it your best, then it’s likely that there was nothing else you could have done to prevent hurt, and I would wager that it isn’t your responsibility. It’s certainly something to process though, why does it bother you all these years later? I’m sorry this happened, and I hope you’re able to find peace about it.
Thank you so much for this, (and not just reminding me to re-take the enneagram test to see what I am now). I really need to remember that how I frame the situation with words and in my own head has a huge effect on how I feel about it. Chances are I remember it all these years later because I've thought of my part in it and control over it as larger than it is. It isn't my responsibility, even if I wish I could have taken on the responsibility, that isn't what my job is.
I always feel this way. I always think I could've done a better job with it. But I thought to myself, that if I give that one job my all, I could no longer think about the what ifs. What I do is plan everything out, more planning lesser mistakes.
Please give yourself grace. This career field can be a lot emotionally. If in your heart, you did the best you could than that's all you can do. I'm sorry that people were hurt but you are only one person. You can't continue to carry all of that weight.
100% agree, I think it's a big thing to recognize that feeling and sit with it. It's not easy but you did the best you could