Does anyone have any advice for attending a funeral for someone that isn’t really an immediate family member? I’m a second year corp associate, and I just got a call that my grandmother died and it sounds like I might have to go to the funeral. Do you think people would respect this kind of thing? I would probably need two days, and I could definitely work whenever possible, but I will need to be OOP for at least some pretty big stretches during the day.

likeuplifting
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If you can’t take a few days off for your grandmothers funeral reevaluate your firm

likeupliftingsmart

I’m so sorry for your loss but I really hope you don’t make it to the level that any junior needs to work for you.

likefunny

And it also sounded like they were being dragged to the funeral (“might have to go to the funeral”)

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Grandparents are immediate family in any reasonable person’s book. This is not your cousin’s dogsitter’s uncle — take the time and be with your family.

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Like, huh? Crazy take to not consider your mother’s, mother an immediate family member. The one responsible for you even being here, mind you.

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I don’t care what the proximity of blood relation is. If you had a meaningful relationship with your second grade teacher and feel you need to go to the funeral, go. This is just a job, and we can’t control when people die.

likehelpful

Totally agree. Don’t ask. Tell them you’re taking X days for the funeral.

“It sounds like I might have to go to the funeral” is crazy work

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What do you mean by "it sounds like I might have to go to the funeral"?

likehelpful

Yes. Of course. Every firm that I’ve worked at would treat your request with decency. Law firms can treat associates very poorly, but I’ve not heard of poor treatment in the context of a death of a family member before.

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Assuming it’s 2 days because you have to travel, that seems really reasonable. Not like it’s a leisure trip. Make sure people know when you’re going to be unavailable, but I really don’t see anyone having a problem here.

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Same took a day off for my girlfriends grandmother. She is now wife but was gf at that point. Very understanding

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Absolutely people should respect this. Take the time you need as fully as possible.

Agree with those saying if this is not acceptable you should leave. There are plenty of firms, even otherwise intense places, where this would be completely understandable.

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Take the time. Even when I was at a V10 killing myself, I knew that if anything happened to anyone close to me, the firm would get a call or email from me on the road to wherever to needed to be. Luckily didn’t happen, but I willingly covered for others in similar circumstances.

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I have never gotten any push back for attending a funeral, immediate family or not. If you get pushback, like someone else said, reevaluate your firm.

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Tell them you will work the room at the wake and can bill as business development. J/K - your request is completely normal and its sadder that the question is actually a legitimate concern in BL

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