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Lab grown diamond was a big no for me. As someone who appreciates jewellery more than just the look of it, even to think the story behind (or what the stone stands for) a natural and lab grown is the same is bonkers to me. That being said to each their own. There is a good case to be made on lab grown for labour practices, business monopoly etc. and I understand that angle fully.
People who are like natural diamonds are marketing BS are the same ones who would be buying other brand names with no issue whereas everything is marketing. Your perfume is 99% alcohol and yet you still pay for it. Fast fashion has horrible labour practices, as does mining for your bathroom fixtures and what not.
We did some browsing together and it was so much fun. I also went shopping with him for his band to get to know his taste.
As to how much to spend, I didn’t want my man stressing over it. So it was hefty still but only because he earns more than enough to cover it. Don’t think he thought twice about the cost.
I adore my rings. Had to take them off at full term pregnancy and it broke my heart.
I tend to agree with M3, I’m always having discussions around plastic pollution, fast fashion, animal welfare with commercialized farming, and general American consumerism. That said, I know I’m probably way more pensive than the average person. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Seems like you both got rings you are happy with and seem relatively informed on how they came to be, as long as you’re both happy.
Chief
If you're with a woman who will make an issue over rock size and lab grown vs. regular then you have bigger issues to worry about, my guy. Go with the smaller diamond, because you'll probably be divorced in 7-10 years and she'll keep the ring and take half your s**t with her. You're welcome.
Chief
Not at all, just trying to help out a brother.
Been with my man 3+ years and have gone ring shopping a few times.
We make about $350,000 household. I'd like to keep the ring under $6k. I know he'd happily spend $40k if I wanted, and that's good enough for me. I'd prefer to retire early and travel with him.
The real test is how hard he's trying to nail the design. I've dragged him to 5 jewelers and changed my mind about 10 times now, poor bastard. His patience means much more than the payment lol.
Hahahaha ❤️
Not sure why everyone is ripping on natural diamonds (and some on lab.) Wife wanted a natural engagement ring so that’s what I got her. When it came to other jewelry like diamond stud earrings and eternity band, she choose lab. Just get her what she wants and don’t overanalyze the why.
At the end of the day, this is the right answer, regardless of what other people think.
I am a woman, got engaged relatively recently and felt strongly about having a natural/mined stone. If we are going to play into the narrative around this made-up symbolism of a diamond ring, I would have felt like lab was "fake".
For other jewelry in the future, I don't care, but for the engagement ring specifically, I wanted natural.
My ring is not particularly large, but quality was important to both of us, so I think the retail cost was ~$16k. Interestingly, when I see a woman with a huge diamond, I used to think "wow her husband must really be obsessed with her," yet when my husband sees a woman with a big diamond, he told me he thinks "wow, their relationship must be entirely material".
Also, with the proliferation of lab, the larger a diamond is (especially on a relatively young woman), to me, the faker it looks (because we assume it's lab).
I'd suggest talking to your gf about priorities -- natural vs. lab, size, quality, shape, etc.
Rising Star
Did he tell you that before or after he spent $16k on your ring?
Pro
I went with an heirloom ring, my great great grandmother's ring circa ~1880. It was a small diamond and the ring was in poor shape, so I spent ~$750 on having the ring refurbished and adding a pair of birthstones on either side of the diamond.
My wife loves it and didn't care about the size, $$, or lab vs real.
Pro
Walked right into that one! 🤣
It’s not about the $$$ it’s about ring preferences. If you haven’t already, talk to her about what she wants. My ex spent too much on a ring I hated and hardly ever wore. Would’ve preferred to have a say in it so we could have saved money and I’d have something I actually liked.
I’d be scared for sure. What did you do with the ring?
Rising Star
We went with a beautiful solitaire labgrown 3.6ct excellent cut etc etc and it was under $5k. My fiancée specifically wanted labgrown because 1) same atoms 2) natural involve a lot of abusive labor practices 3) Debeers company
Pro
Lab grown are for ratchet people who just want big rocks to flash. If your girl wants a big rock, now’s the time to ask if she can live within your means once you’re married. Most couples divorce over money problems.
My girl wants a 2-2.5 carrot. But she actually has never cared about anything flashy and we live great together, she doesn’t over spend and is not materialistic at all. BUT this is the only thing I know she wants me to get right. But she also would be ok with anything I give her.
OP - there is no right or wrong here in general. This is about your girlfriend - what does she like? What's are her jewelry tastes already? What does she wear day or day and what does she own that she rarely wears?
SM2 you seem quite bitter about the money you spent. That’s not anyone else’s fault.
I only want diamonds from war-torn countries.
This is very much a you and spouse conversation. I think more and more women are involved in the purchase decision (we’ll be wearing it forever).
My stone was under $2k, bands were another $500. We could have spent a lot more, but I didn’t want to because it’s never been a priority for me. We went the normal diamond route because when we got engaged, lab diamonds weren’t very easy to find.
As others said on regular vs lab, they’re basically the same thing less concerns with conflict of the stone, cheaper, and not a product of De Beers marketing. If we were getting engaged now, I’d want him to spend the same (or less) and go lab. My younger sister is getting engaged soon and wants a ~1.5 carat mid-grade diamond, not lab, so her price tag is looking more like $10-12k.
Everyone is different. If you don’t want to directly involve her, have a friend / sibling / her mom find out what she likes.
Rising Star
Also, we did it together, and I highly recommend that. There’s still a beautiful moment of surprise when you drop the knee. Get her something she likes
You can buy a massive lab grown diamond for China for like $100. If she is demanding an actual rock for a massive amount of money... do you really want to be legally financially tied to this person?
Golden rule I learnt from my mentor many years ago - about two months of your monthly salary
Why do you want a real diamond versus lab grown?
If you ever want to “trade up” many jewelers will not trade up on lab grown diamonds. I’ve had many jewelers share this with me when I was comparing.
I think lab grown rings are pretty good, since the price is reasonable and you can save up the $$ for wedding and vacation.
How are engagement rings still a thing in this day and age… If my wife wanted a ring, she would buy one herself. And she would never want me to waste 5k, 10k or 20k+ as some have mentioned here on a ring. That’s just crazy. Especially when I think back at how much we made back then.
I'm working with a designer for mine. I've talked with my gf through the process. We both know that she's getting what she wants. Alexandrite, not diamonds. Should be around $4k.
I went with natural ring diamond. I just liked the look of the ring and I was able to get a nice discount for engagement ring. The ring was $3K. Honestly spend what you are comfortable with and don't end up ring poor. Good luck!