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Take your time for real and take a lot of notes. It’s like learning to read again. People will understand.
Figure out a schedule and stick to it! I block off my calendar from daycare pickup through bedtime and say I am unavailable (I’ve had to make a few exceptions but really not many). Give yourself lots of slack when you go back and know that it takes time. I think it took me at least a few months to start to feel “normal” again work-wise.
Assuming this is your life situation, schedule a check-in with your partner (life, not law) about 8 weeks in. Dinner out with childcare to talk about how it’s going while not juggling a baby. What is working, what isn’t, what adjustments could be made (childcare, pumping, food prep/using meal delivery for awhile, housekeeper, more bottles so dishwasher can do some labor overnight, who packs what and when, what work hours work for your lives, does someone need to consider reduced schedule or adjusting arrival/departure times). Leave the egos with the babysitter and really be honest about your goals for how things work and what would help that-it’s teamwork! Talk about your career goals during this phase of your lives and what it will take to achieve those goals. I know it’s not a sexy date night but a lot of times it’s easy to get stuck in the muck of surviving and not realize it can be better with communication and honesty.
Signed-big law Partner to mid law Partner with 4 kids under 10, who had to put structures in place (full time nanny and preschool, weekly housekeeper, grocery delivery) to feel like she got valuable present time with her kids without being a stress basket all the time.
It’s hard but manageable! Big hug for the next step.
Last note-also give the people you work with some time to get to know the new you. You are going to be working differently than you have before and that will take some adjustment for people. Hold your boundaries and communicate openly when you will be available. Not every criticism is fair or has merit so try to let what you can roll off and be confident in your excellent work!
Rising Star
It’s very hard at this stage to separate hormonal/emotional feelings from what you objectively feel is best for your family.
Being away from your baby is hard, IMO being a full-time SAHM is worse. I made a ton of career adjustments for my kids (as did my spouse), and in the early days still felt pangs of missing them or missing out. By the time they were in elementary school, I was so grateful I hadn’t blown everything up in those early months, and in retrospect felt like a very present and involved parent—I know I made the right decision.