{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Got an offer at a startup with 130 base. I can choose between SF and SLC. I think I’d prefer SLC just because I’m scared about how expensive SF is. \n\nHow is the gay life in SLC like especially for a 23 yo poc?", "post_id": "60f60f801bfa37002010cc67", "reply_count": 29, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "58f80c96ae9f610010f866a8", "bowl_name": "LGBT 🐠" }

Got an offer at a startup with 130 base. I can choose between SF and SLC. I think I’d prefer SLC just because I’m scared about how expensive SF is. How is the gay life in SLC like especially for a 23 yo poc?

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I’m going to be honest, it’s not great for gay POC. SF will be much better for you from that standpoint.

likehelpful

It is America that we are talking about and the gay community is incredibly racist here. PS:I live in NYC.

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Hard pass on SLC as a gay dude lmao

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Happy to talk about SLC. I lived there for 5 months this winter. It’s VERY white. I did not meet a single non-white-passing dude. Even as a white-passing person, I often felt out of place. There were some Latinos (mostly from South America, targeted by Mormons) but almost no Black or Asian people. I loved it though. I was able to make friends and I loved the outdoors. It’s such a beautiful place.

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San Francisco is definitely more diverse, but I’m not convinced the people are any less racist than SLC. In both cities you’ll deal with plenty of the young Ken doll gay white men who will be mortified that you dare to even talk to them. But all things considered as a young gay person and a young POC, I would definitely choose the state of California over Utah, both for cultural and career advancement reasons. Not even close, and I’m not even really a political lefty. Utah is beautiful to visit and I’ve had some fun hookups in SLC, but I wouldn’t dream of moving there given the social, political, and religious dynamics. African American 30-something gay male here.

likesmartfunny

Isn’t sad that this community which is supposed to understand how being discriminated against feels like dare to discriminate against POC?

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Utah is not a gay friendly place. Would not recommend. Find a nice place in SF.

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The only place in Utah I found somewhat friendly for LGBT or (maybe) POC was Park City. Elsewhere was like Mississippi or Alabama.

130k is pretty comfortable in SF as long as you’re not going crazy for your expenses. Choose SF for the gay life!

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I grew up in Utah, and worked in SLC for 5 years. Still have a ton of family there. SLC is definitely cheaper, and has better outdoor activities available. SLC itself is not too bad for LGBTQIA+, but you need to realize that the entire state is essentially a theocracy, and so even the more progressive elements in SLC end up yielding to the preemption of the state legislature. You're going to be dealing with a lot of closeted gay Mormons that are terrified of being found out, so dating its gonna be kind of weird, at least part of the time. Lastly, Utah is a pretty racist place. Not a burning-cross-on-your-lawn kind of racist, but a your-kids-can't-play-with-our-kids kind of racist, or a cross-the-street-when-they-see-you-coming kind of racist. I had a good life living there once I found my people, but I will never go back (live in PNW). I would honestly choose SF.

likefunny

The advantage with SFO is that SFO also includes Oakland, Berkeley, Pacifica, Half Moon Bay, Santa Clara, San Jose, San Rafael, Hayward, and Fremont, just to name a few communities. SLC has Ogden and Provo and... not a lot else. San Francisco itself may not be what it was, but there are a number of surrounding communities almost all of which have very good transit connections to The City.

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SF is expensive, but if you find roommates, you should be able to get by fine.

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There were some HOT guys when I went to SLC in March… not a ton of guys, but a decent number of hot ones

smart

Went to SLC pride while working at Workday. I was floored by the diversity. I actually cried, it was so beautiful. I was born there and my Mormon family is very diverse with gender fluidity and POC. I'm the oldest grandchild in a large family and they accepted my coming out in the 80s. I like to think that I broke the ice.

likeuplifting

SF has problems but your community here is much better. Just go to SF and I think you will make better friends and have a stronger network.

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It is not good. While the COL is much lower than SF, the savings don't justify the huge delta in lifestyle/fun/enjoyment between being young and gay in SF vs SLC. But is the startup flexible? Can you try Utah for 6 months and move if you don't like it?

I have heard SLC is queer friendly / is the gay mecca of Utah but Utah is pretty white. $130k will also go really far there whereas in SF you can expect to drop a lot of money socializing and on rent (depending on your lifestyle.) SF is def a gay male mecca and both of my roommates (gay men) have gone on tons of dates and had plenty of relationship options. It also skews heavily Asian (like 30% of the city) so if you are Asian and finding a partner w a similar culture to you is imp then would recommend. Otherwise, I would say try SLC and build up some nice savings!

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