Related Posts
Hello fishes,i have two offers, one is from Cognizant- Senior Associate for 22LPA(fixed) and EY GDS - Assurance, Technical Lead (rank 42) for (23 Lpa + 10% Variable). Which one should I choose? Expecting better Work life balance is priority. I'm into .Net full stack development. (6 yoe). Please help who knows about EY Gds bangalore and CTS Coimbatore. Cognizant
More Posts
Anonymous User
I want to stress vomit.
Enthusiast
Visual Storyteller
Anyone in to younger guys?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Call them out on it - they hate having their behaviour brought into the open.
Take a breath and make sure you do it constructively, but don’t allow them to walk over you.
Talk to your manager - ask why was I removed from this project when I believe that I have been successfully delivering - is there some aspect of my performance you are not happy with? This has made me less motivated - as my manager how do you propose to address this issue.
When co-workers are backstabbing ask to have a catch up with them to understand their issue. Be direct about what it is that they have done, what the effect was, and how they propose to alter this - make it their problem not you. Read up on giving feedback to change behaviour.
Often they rely on people not wanting to make waves or push back - take it higher up if needed - your company has a problem if you are not being productive because you are stressed.
Document everything - and ensure you refer to the notes during your conversation so they know it’s written down.
At best, they didn’t realise that was how you are thinking and can change, or explain why decisions were made the way they were, which may not be what your understanding was. Ie are you off that area because their is more problems in another area that they need your help with. Was the change just communicated badly.
Either way, by calling it out - they are less likely to do it again, or at least will think twice about it - because they know doing so will have consequences - ie they will have to defend their position.
And at worst you have confirmation/incentive that you really don’t have a role in this company that you want and will start looking for that new job in earnest.
If you're looking to keep the peace, disengage. I recently had an incident and that "your manager is not your friend" reality check. I don't engage in anything outside of work anymore. It was a pretty drastic change and she did notice, but we haven't had any problems since then. I also don't have anything else lined up and I'm looking, but the job market is sh*t.
What helped me was realizing my reaction was more draining than the actual behavior. There’s a Buddhist idea of the two arrows - “pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”. Give it no mind and stop tormenting yourself more.
Mentor
I have been there myself a few times and it can be really demoralizing and draining when your work environment turns into a playground or battlefield. Stop investing time and energy into the situation and focus on where your role starts and ends. Disconnect and save your sanity.
Honestly, I’m trying. I keep playing the scenario in my head and I’m just like how can they. And I haven’t been able to come up with an answer
I feel for you. One thing to realize is people can stoop really low. Observe and understand. Their behavior is their responsibility. You can’t fix them neither it’s your responsibility. If you got surprised by their behavior, maybe that’s the part you need to work upon. Whatever happened, how come you got surprised? Didn’t you see that coming? How can you be more vigilant next time. Sorry I maybe assuming a ton of things here. Control the part you play, your role n responsibility. Be authentic. Be yourself. Be grounded in who you are.
And yes, call out the bad behavior respectfully but assertively. Sometimes silence can be taken for weakness.
You have to redraw your work boundaries. Disengage, focus only on work, and let the politics go. Let them run around and waste their energy on petty games while you keep delivering high quality work. Disengage gently- just start pulling back on the personal info, the chit chat, and work the hours you are paid.
You will never have a rational explanation for why someone did something that will make you feel better. Their actions were crappy, it feels crappy, and that isn’t going to change- especially since it sounds like a broader cultural problem and not a problem with one specific individual alone.
And- start looking for other roles and document everything for your own records. You never know when you will need it.
I don’t know the size of your agency. But any chance you can move to a different team?