How do I get better at making small talk?

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Me think why waste time when lot word do trick

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Saving my morning A3!!

helpful

Avoid common stuff like weather, etc. Bc people know you are just ‘making small talk’ with them and try to abandon the conversation.

Be human - people like the lack of formality. People also love talking about themselves. Use that to your advantage.

sitting in a zoom room with a stranger on a client call? Ask them how long they’ve worked wherever they have. Ask if they love it. How was the transition from remote to back to the office? what location/time zone are they in? Compliment them for looking out together - person i had never met turned her camera on and she was full glam. I made a joke about it in a positive way. Something like ‘were you filming a movie today? I’m over here with a messy bun praying no one says camera on and you showed up ready!’

In personal life - kinda the same thing. Again, people love talking about themselves and feeling noticed/appreciated. I’ll compliment an article of clothing, ask for backstory on how they know a mutual friend (if at a party), etc.

If all else fails, take a vyvanse. You’ll be able to talk to a brick wall after one of those ;)

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P1 summed it up nicely. Get them talking about themselves and use the rule of threes. The world of small talk is now yours

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Read how to win friends and influence people

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Practice

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On a serious answer - find a reason/interest to care. We make small talk because it establishes camaraderie and makes difficult conversations easier.

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Podcasts!! I steal all my small talk from my favorite “niche” podcasts. Think about it, the hosts have to build rapport with the whole audience on mute, so it has to work for zoom meetings.

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Charisma on Command on youtube

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I’ve actually been able to apply those techniques in situations. I’m not a subscriber of that channel so i only watch a few when they pop up, but there’s a reason those fictional characters make you feel and react a certain way, I think his breakdowns of social queues and how to make and continue conversation are valid and have used them in my own experiences when I felt anti-social. YMMV

Ughhhh I hate small talk. Ask about the other person’s family. Kids? How old? How are they coping with the pandemic? That will usually kill 10-15 minutes on a call.

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How was your weekend? Did you have a good weekend or a bad weekend? I had a good weekend: let me tell you about my weekend. Ah the weekend is so short. Busy busy busy!

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Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

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I completely agree about practicing… like with everything, the more you do the better and more natural it feels. I focus a lot on questions… getting the other person to chat about what they care about can really help alleviate the pressure of feeling like you’ve got to keep coming up with new things to say… and you might just learn something cool! Good luck!

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Practice! Speed dating, networking events in your area. It sucks but practice helps.

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Details make for better conversations. Pick one and see where it takes you.

Talk about food, hometowns, travel experiences, hobbies, etc. If you cover those 4 topics with a person, you'll have moved on from small talk into real conversations without hitting anything too private or taboo.

What's your favorite/recent/anticipated restaurant in town?
What's your favorite dish to cook?
Where's home for you?
Where's the next place you're dreaming of going?
What random hobbies are you into?

Most of these are things people are somewhat passionate about, and if you want interested and ask for more details, they'll probably open up.

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Genuine non-creepy interest in other people’s lives

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Depends on the audience. If they’re from a city with a sports team. I’ll talk about that. I try and stay up to date with current events and will try and use those as a topic (keep it apolitical of course)

Talk less?

Sign up for lunch club and meet random people to chat with. You become an expert at small talk because the whole platform is about engaging in small talk.

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