How do you handle condescending and aggressive managers: disparaging remarks about people’s diets (vegans), mocking spiritual beliefs, using sarcasm instead of directly asking questions, etc. It’s hurting morale, and I’ve considered rolling off.

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Sounds like an HR issue.

Tell them to stop. If it happens once more, report to HR.

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My plan is to get him fired.

I’ve just forwarded email chains to HR. This is not my fight.

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Probably a good call!

I’d tell them their comments are inappropriate if you are comfortable doing so. Otherwise would escalate to a PPMD.

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The Partner is cc’d on all of the problematic emails, and he’s silent. He doesn’t say or do anything while the SM says the wildest things in an accusatory tone. The SM literally yelled and told me to Google some information during a previous team meeting and I told him that was unprofessional but this behavior continues.

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I think partners don’t always pay attention during group calls/emails (sorry partners). They usually have 23 other things happening. However, whenever I’ve scheduled a one-on-one call with them - it’s always been a different vibe and they do take the time to listen. I would schedule a one-on-one with the partner ASAP. Also, are there any other SMs on the project you could speak with?

Make sure you are documenting the comments, date comments were said, who was around, etc. It sounds likely you will need to go to Talent and good to be prepared. Also, by speaking with project leadership - that is also preparing a better case for Talent. Make sure to include any takeaways from that conversation as well. And loop your Coach into the situation.

Find a way to decouple your career from these people. Let them be them, stop playing that game. Get far away from them.

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So sorry OP. You should be treated better.

I mean, sarcasm is basically my love language so depending on the situation it might just be a communication difference on that front, but making fun of people’s diets or religion at work is definitely not ok. I do think discussing with the partner is worth it, just be specific and address particular examples of offensive commentary and indicate that it is negatively impacting you. Also, if you aren’t comfortable with that approach if you have sufficient documentation you could always go to HR, but personally I’d start with the partner and give them the opportunity to do the right thing themselves. But document everything, including the partner conversation, in case you do subsequently have to go to HR.

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