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Mentor
I agree that’s really weird they don’t say thank you. I’ve always shown gratitude when getting anything from the company or my manager. Whether it came out of the personal pockets or not doesn’t matter. Costs nothing to say thank you.
I think that as humans we expect acknowledgement for the nice things we do, completely forgetting that we're doing those things for other humans. You can continue to be generous at Christmas time or completely stop. It will not change that some don't want to work,or work for or with you,some hold grudges when you either write them up or report them,some resent all forms of authority and some are just hateful people. In an instant they will forget all the little things you did to acknowledge them and their work, because they didn't get their way this one time. So stop and let it be "if you want your job,do your job." All you have to do is look at the postings on Fishbowl and Glassdoor to see how many applicants would be just what you're looking for. A lot of employees would like to have a job where they just go to work and get paid for it.
But I would never dream of getting a gift and not thanking the person who gave it. I don’t expect or want gifts from my team, just a “hey I got your gift card and holiday note, thanks!” Would suffice. It makes me not want to keep doing it.
What kind of a manager are you otherwise? We have a maniacal control freak narcissist zero value add manager. No one gives a f about this guy since he sucks life , joy and blood out of all of us each day.
I advocate for my team at review time, I have pushed for higher raises, promotions, and bonuses. When some have been going through personal issues (divorce, a sick parent) I check in with them and see how they are doing. They have the flexibility to do what they need to do personally, they are treated like responsible adults. I’ve had one on my team for three years and she’s never said Thank You and overall has an entitled attitude, so she was expected. Another has been on the team for five years and I think at this point expects it so maybe doesn’t think a Thank You is needed. The other two are new this year but we still have a good relationship.
I am dealing with the exact same thing and feelings too. And I don’t do things FOR praise. I think it almost was more of a feeling of disappointment that maybe people don’t have better manners in general, ha ha. I just wouldn’t ever dream of receiving a gift of any sort and not saying thanks…. Period. So I’m like is this just how most other people are? My team is great and we have an amazing relationship it was almost just a little surprising to me I suppose.
As someone who was “trained” from birth that the proper thing is always to send a hand-written “thank you” note within a week, I definitely get it.
That said, I would separate the first portion of this reflection from the part that involves you personally. I don’t know what one has to do with the other. And to continue transparently, I do find it odd to sign your gift from you in addition to your husband.
I have found myself in similar situations. And my mother has always been correct in reminding me that not everyone is raised the same way, thinks the same way, feels the same way. Which is not to say they are necessarily wrong. So there’s that.
I'm not sure why the only options here are to keep giving and shut up or stop giving completely. My first thought would be that perhaps people didn't receive the gift. You are leaving it on desks for anyone to see and walk off, correct? Second, everyone is busy during this time of year. If they don't do it immediately, they may have gotten sidetracked. Yes, show up how you want to, but don't go to mental jungle gyms that do nothing for anyone. Especially you. Give the holiday gifts in person after the New Year (or some other moment before the thrall). All problems solved, don't overthink it.
Would hand it to them. Is there a possibility the cards were swiped?
Very strange.
Are your employees young?
I’m noticing young people are either not being taught manners anymore or there is some fear of engaging in polite human interaction lately
Spent a week with my partner’s sons, the 21 year old barely speaks.
He’s nice but I can’t put my finger on what’s going on with the total lack of interpersonal communication.