How soon into dating someone new do you ask them about their finances and credit score?

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I wouldn’t ask it in that way. I would get a sense of their finances over time. Observe their habits, style, interests. Hear about their work and what they say about their reviews and bonuses. Listen to what they ask about student loans and whether they had to pay them off. Over time, chat about investment strategy. Obviously you’ll know where they work so you can get a sense of their salary. I’d say as you start to get close, you can then compare notes on salaries and dreams

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I indirectly and casually bring up a financial topic or ask for a recommendation and see their reaction. If I figure out they’re making decent money and not contributing to their 401k or haven’t paid off student loans by my age, I’m out.

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What a great question. Thumbs up to you for a mature dating attitude. Oh and let me add a few more for you, since you’re being so adult about all this. I could have only aspired to your level of thinking in my dating days. Now happily married 25+ years with no idea what I was getting into…

In no particular order

1. Gender roles
2. Kids
3. Pets
4. Spender/Saver
5. Religion
6. Exes
7. Drinking/drugs
8. Family relationships
9. Cleanliness
10. Eating/Sleeping habits
11. Oh, I could go on 😊

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I ask for their social on tinder and run their score before accepting the date.

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Not until you are talking marriage or moving in together. Before that any inquiries into my financials would be off putting (like the person is already trying to divide my assets). On the other hand you can share your side and see if they will share theirs on their own. If they don’t it’s either because they are worse off or because they think you are MUCH worse off than them and trying to take advantage of them. It’s pretty easy to know which one it is based on their lifestyle.

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Also I asked the partner a deposit as prof that they will be able to afford the dinner. Crazy we are asking this in this forum!!!!!

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“I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours?” Maybe 9+ months if you’re planning to propose within 2 years of dating. Otherwise leverage that timeline ratio to your love life. Don’t fall in love with them before realizing you’ll never be able to get a house together. If you’re still young, you can discuss ways to build your credit together like with the Bilt credit card to pay your rent. Dating is hard. Good luck.

Just after getting married….

Because they don’t know how to manage finances and make stupid decisions. And that is before marriage and after marriage.

Yes, as soon as possible.

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30 m ny/nj. US citizen. Moved as a teenager. INTJ. Single since I figured I’m not fighting the biological clock and have all the time in the world to meet someone and get settled. Things changed after I watched Akshay’s mom (Indian Matchmaking) tell him even 25 is too late and not marrying somehow messes up lives of people around him. While the show was staged, there might be truth to the latter part.
Looking for F in ny/nj. Personality: NOT Aparna. NOT Nadia but def more Nadia than Aparna.🙏

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