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Any 30+ female around? Would love to chat.
So anyone single 🧐
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Chief
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Chief
she's a 10 but excel thinks she's an October
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I really miss breeding out one night stands.
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Chief
My dad physically and emotionally abused me. My brother sexually abused me for years. I got into a LTR with a guy in high school that was abusive and lasted until I graduated from college. I didn’t know how to have healthy relationships with men for many years because I just didn’t have any frame of reference. Now, even though I have been through a ton of therapy and am generally mentally healthy, I will occasionally relapse into bad dynamics with men out of comfort when I am struggling in my life. (Risky and self-punishing behavior is somehow comfortable 🤦🏼♀️)
I share all of this because I know through my own experiences that these things are so much more common than anyone could ever imagine. When I was a kid, I thought I was the only one these things happened to. I actually wish that were true. I wish there weren’t so many of us.
The wonderful man that I married is a care taker and a giver. He is also the most steady and calm person I know. He has been a rock for me over the years, even when I am a little shaky. Obviously, don’t be codependent or whatnot, but you can also be a good steady man for someone from a broken past.
Rising Star
I am happy that you broke the pattern! Good for you!
Pro
Are you a caretaker? Maybe you're drawn to these women.
Appreciate that...it’s a work in progress for sure. I am infinitely more aware now.
A lot of women don't have great relationships with their fathers, especially if their parents were divorced and their dads weren't around much. When my parents divorced, my dad ran off to another state to do his own thing, would call me a few times a year on holidays to say hi, saw me maybe once a year, then moved back to town 7 years later and expected a teenage me to just welcome him with open arms. It doesn't work like that. Relationships, even family relationships, take work.
No that sounds low actually
You think it’s actually higher for the general population?
Enthusiast
Slightly different situation, but my mom was in a physically and verbally abusive relationship with a man from the time I was 5 until 16. He never abused me, but I witnessed what he did to my mom. It definitely has lasting impacts.
I have a wonderful relationship with my dad though.
My father was never physically abusive to me, but was to my older brother and verbally abusive to all of the family. Unfortunately, it seems like conservative families and certain cultures breed toxic masculinity and this misogyny, which I wasn’t aware of until I got to college and realized how common it was. If not verbally abusive, there’s clearly some “rules” the father has in place to control who you hang out with, what you wear, how “ladylike” the daughter appears, and how submissive everyone in the household must be. That being said, I loved going to a friends house and seeing how great their family dynamic was, and hope to have a loving partner one day that is the opposite of my father.
Thank you for sharing EY. I’m sorry that you had to go through all that. But I’m also happy that you are clearly so introspective and came out the better because of it.
Any of those ladies here, DM me 🧔
Read the room, man. Not everything is or should be a joke.