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I am also a single mom and bootcamp grad from 4 years ago. I currently have the situation you seek where I work 100% remotely, and basically don't work 3-6pm, and then work 8pm - 11pm. (in addition to working 9a-3pm) as well.
HOWEVER, I think if I had this situation from the start, I would have failed miserably.
I'll be honest, the first year of working as a software engineer after a bootcamp is HARD. There are holes in your education compared to people who went to college and did internships. You will have to work overtime to patch up those holes. I know I did. Honestly, I would come home and cry every night. I felt so dumb and so overwhelmed by the job, and I was the best student in my bootcamp by far. I had zero life that first year. All I did was take care of kids and work and try to patch the holes in my education.
And it would have been so much harder if I didn't have other engineers around in the office, who could see I was struggling and pitch in and guide me.
Your best chance to succeed in this career change and to not have your 6 months of bootcamp go to waste are to:
1) take a full-time job and try to officially work normal full-time hours
2) Have at least a one-two days a week in the office (i.e. not fully remote)
3) Get childcare so that you can focus exclusively on your job during normal business hours.
3) Commit to this for JUST ONE YEAR.
After ONE YEAR, you will be in a much better position to get & succeed at a a 100% remote position that works around your kid schedule. But you will need that one year to get acclimated into this new profession. Lots of bootcamp grads fail as engineers and get diverted into program management or customer support. Don't let this happen to you (unless you like those better, I guess). In the long-term, single motherhood is much more compatible with being a software engineer than either of those alternatives (plus it pays a lot better too).
For this ONE YEAR, you will need excellent childcare. It sounds like daycare is tough since your school has no before/after care. If you you have the living space, an Au Pair might be a great match. Otherwise, you probably need a nanny with a driver's license and car.
I know this costs a lot, and as a single mom you don't have a lot of disposable $$$. So think of this one year of childcare as an investment in the rest of your career, much as you paid the money for your bootcamp tuititon. You might actually end up paying more money out in childcare than you earn, but that is still ok because you just need to get established in this new career by giving it your absolute best shot.
After that, you'll be able to make a lot more and command much more job flexiblity. But you have to earn it. And this first year is critical. Don't shoot yourself in the foot. I think that trying to get a 100% remote super-flexible job out the door would be setting yourself up to fail. You will need more guidance and time to acclimate.
Hey, single mum here and doing remote work, when I go office will be back by school pickup time and work from home rest of the day. All this only saves childminder costs. But remote work causing lonliness at home as we don't have any adult to talk to. Working partly from office is better, improving mood and feeling active as we go for lunch with colleagues, interact with them etc. I feel if you are serious about your career growth, just send kid to after school care, kid will be happy playing with other kids there and you can completely focus on work.
During term holidays I either take vacation to spend with kid or work from home. If holidays are more than 2 weeks, I send kid to my parents in another country. Kid gets lots of love from grand parents and we can take break from 24/7 mom job and focus on work/exercise/relaxation etc.
Thanks for your insight much appreciated. Unfortunately the school has no before or after school club so this is not an option. Also no one to look after child in the holidays so it would be difficult but happy to work from office during school hours. Social interaction is important and I totally get that.
Hoping someone else has experience like yours who can give you better insight. My assumption would be that a fully remote job would be easier to maintain on a single mom's schedule that a hybrid or office-only job.
Do you have a preference if you want to work for a large or small company? I'm noticing a lot job descriptions are sharing if the team is remote or hybrid. If hybrid you may have the option choosing the days you need to be in the office. Do you have any support from family or friends?
I don’t really have a preference of a small or large company. My guess is that a larger company would be more flexible but I could be wrong. I would be more than happy to work in the office during school hours and would just need to work from home during the school holidays. Unfortunately I do not have any help from family & friends.